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“Just think about it a little more. Think about what it would mean if you asked me to leave the teams when I was so active. Think about what that would’ve done to me, if you asked me to do that. And yet, I probably would’ve. If I’d known you were alive when I was active, I would’ve given up anything for you. I just can’t understand how you can leave us now. And maybe that’s a problem. Maybe the connection and the bond and the love between us is not the same. Maybe you don’t feel that loss that I would feel. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I’d be devastated if something happened to you, Maggie.”
Brady prepared fortheir Saturday trip to the farmers market, and today, they had a bumper crop of eggs to sell. He’d been collecting more than a dozen a day, storing them in clear plastic containers in the refrigerator. By early Saturday morning, he had over seventeen dozen.
The preparation and readying work, just like when he was on the teams, helped him take his mind off of everything else but the mission. Today, it was selling eggs, even with Maggie’s insistence that she be allowed to go to Baja.
Every time he thought of it, his blood boiled, his mouth got parched, and he wound up throwing things around the truck, adjusting tools, sorting and re-sorting his equipment. He had nearly mishandled dishes in the kitchen as he was cleaning up. He scrubbed the countertops down, mopped the floor, and even washed the kitchen door window. Everything he did was noisy.
Nothing took away his uneasiness today.
He knew Maggie held her tongue and was concerned about him when he got into this space, but he wasn’t going to have another conversation with her about her trip until he felt some softening on her side, because the three that he’d had since she told him two days ago had yielded absolutely nothing. In fact, the more they talked, the more intense Maggie got about her plans to leave next week.
Brady wasn’t going to let her leaving change anything about his routine, and he tried to make sure that Emma didn’t pick up on any of his discomfort at Maggie’s plans. It was important to him they remain as a family as much as possible.
He’d figure out what to do once they weren’t. It was little comfort that he knew she wasn’t leaving him—he wasn’t the problem. But that was her soft side, a point of attack, and he was saving that card for when he’d need it most. One final try to convince her the trip was a bad idea.
Emma had decided to wear her pink cowboy boots and the purple velvet cape Maggie had sewn for her for Halloween later in the year. She’d gotten into Maggie’s makeup drawer and added purple eyeshadow and pink lipstick—even added some sparkly powder Maggie wore on special occasions. She picked out a pink baseball cap with a mermaid embroidered in the center and mis-matched yellow rimed sunglasses. Not a child who liked to dress up and draw attention to herself, Brady noted that her altered attitude indicated she probably did sense that some major change was about to occur with the family. It broke his heart to think about it, but since Maggie’s will was so strong, he knew the only thing he could do was to accept it for now, pray for that miracle, and be there for Emma.
But he was hurting from the enormous hole in his heart.
Maggie laughed as Emma jumped out of the truck and made a direct run toward a group of children who were sitting under a large oak tree on blankets. One of the adults was reading an illustrated story book, which was one of Emma’s favorite pastimes.
“Would you look at that, Brady? She’s remembering the story group for the kids here. I can’t get over how fast she learns things. And how much she loves her books.”
Brady could only nod and watch his daughter sit down in the circle of children, choosing a spot closest to the reader, crossed her legs, and placed her elbows on her knees, bracing her chin while sitting to rapt attention.
That’s when Brady knew that Emma would be okay, no matter what. She had a strong constitution, just like her mother. And she would not hold back on all the things she loved to do, just like Maggie. He was grateful, despite the aching in his chest, that he would have the job of keeping Emma safe and content, even though he knew she would be afraid and would try to hide it. Having this job would help him keep his mind off the horrible things he could certainly imagine befalling Maggie in Mexico.
The market was unusually busy today, with an overflow crowd that extended into the parking lot. The street faire had become an important economic stimulus for the area, with so many people out of work. Many people used their backyard gardens and their artistic skills making things at home and selling to the public. It sure beat commuting an hour to some kind of a nine-to-five job.
They traded eggs for Maggie’s favorite whole wheat sourdough French bread, as well as some organic goat cheese, some home brew kombucha, and vegetables. Maggie even gave a dozen to a young baker who made small colorful macarons in bright shades of turquoise, pink, and orange. Emma loved the colorful desserts. Brady didn’t.
He checked the children’s group often as they wandered back and forth up and down the aisles, trading and buying. He was never more than a thirty second run away from her, and several times Maggie had to repeat a question or comment that he didn’t hear because he was so focused on Emma.
“We should get some fruit,” Brady barked abruptly, pointing to the vendor who brought produce from the central valley of California. Beautiful, large ripe Navel oranges and grapefruits, avocados, and even dragon fruit were displayed attractively in boxes and baskets over red-and-white checkered tablecloths.
Brady had tried to grow some of the unusual cactus plants in his garden, giving himself painful wounds. He had failed miserably after trying several times and eventually decided his garden climate wasn’t right for the odd fruit. But he still bought them at the market, considering dragon fruit a miracle drug and, like all miracles, elusive and almost impossible to cultivate. He picked out several orange, yellow, and pink fruits, holding the bag up so Maggie could look at them, and was rewarded with a warm smile on her beautiful face.
His heart sighed.
“I can see you’re going to have quite a week if you eat all that dragon fruit, because Emma probably won’t touch it. You’ll be pissing vinegar, Brady,” she said. The fruit turned his pee bright yellow and orange.
“Yeah, I guess I figured if I bought too much food, maybe I could convince you to stay. Or at least stay until it’s all eaten.” He stopped and stared into her suntanned face. “I’m still not okay with it, but I understand it has to be,” he added in a whisper.
“Sweetheart,” Maggie started as she touched his right cheek with her hand, “I thank you for allowing me to do something that is so important to me. It’s like someone has summoned me, sent me a message about healing and saving lives. Even with all the past dangers I suffered, it still wasn’t enough to stop me from wanting to do more. I can’t stand the thought of women and children being exploited and abused, especially when I know I could help put an end to at least some of it.”
Brady held his breath, not wanting her to stop speaking to him in that soft, alluring tone and being gentle with his feelings. He loved the feel of her hand on his cheek.
“And I know it’s hard for you, Brady. But you letting me go proves to me how much you love me. And I carry that with me. Thank you, and know, you could buy a whole truck full of fruit, and I still would have to go.”
All Brady could do is lower the bag of fruit and nod, again. He wasn’t going to allow any tears to run down his cheeks or to show any of the emotions he was feeling inside. But Maggie knew. He understood that.
“I know, Maggie. I’m trying. I know about service. You just have to promise me one thing.”
“Yes, I know what that is. And I promise you, Brady, I will be home. I will make it short. I’ll do what I can, and then I’ll get myself back to paradise. To the life we always wanted. To the place where I belong. After my work is done.”
He wrapped his arm around her and held her body against his as he kissed the top of her head. “You better come home, or I’ll go down there and get you. You tell your priest friend that if he doesn’t release you in thirty days—in less than thirty days—he’s going to have one angry, former SEAL all over his case. And you know I mean it.”
Maggie looked up at him and laughed. “That’s the man I love.”
