Page 29 of Earl of Spades


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Be outside.

Be in his arms.

She sighed again. “I hate being confined.”

“In the carriage?” Arabella asked.

She nodded, but really, she meant anywhere. Confinement meant being docile. Soft. Vulnerable.

Then again, she didn’t feel any of those things when she was with Ash.

“I never thought I’d marry,” Arabella said, staring out the other window. “I didn’t like the idea of being confined either. But I guess that’s a bit different, isn’t it?”

Lily blinked in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“We had the worst sort of father, didn’t we? It’s so much easier to only rely on yourself after being sired by a man like that.”

“It is.”

“Did you meet him ever?”

Lily sucked in a breath. “I did. When I was very young. For a time, he still sought out my mother.”

“What was he like?”

Lily shook her head. “Mostly, I was sent to my bedchamber when he visited. He frowned a lot. But when he left, my mother was usually happy. At least for a time.”

Arabella pressed her lips together. “So even knowing you, he hardly had anything to do with you?”

“That’s right.”

“That figures,” she snorted. “I should have known he was the jackass I imagined him to be.”

Lily shook her head. “You really never thought to wed?”

“After you’ve been tossed away by your own father, who wants to rely on a man to care for them?”

Those words so completely echoed Lily’s own thoughts that she started in surprise. “He was terrible, wasn’t he?”

“I’ve not talked about him much with anyone, but even Bash speaks about him in hard, angry tones. I don’t think it was any easier to be his legitimate child.”

How had it not occurred to her that her siblings would have similar feelings?

Her hands trembled as she carefully folded them together. “I wish I could fight like you. I think I might feel better if I took more control of my situation.”

Arabella shook her head. “The only thing that has truly made me feel better is opening myself up to Edge. It’s as though in marrying him, I’ve let go of that past hurt.”

Lily tried to speak, but words failed her.

Could she ever trust someone with her life and her heart? Ash’s face, so strong and handsome, rose in her thoughts. He was an earl…

And she was nothing. A seamstress and a bastard. “How did you end up the wife of an earl?”

“Well, to be fair,” Arabella started, “he didn’t grow up knowing he’d inherit the title.”

Lily winced, her chin dropping to hide her reaction. Ash was the son of an earl. A different situation entirely. He’d grown up being groomed take over an earldom and to marry a woman of good breeding and excellent connections.

She’d be a fool to even hope.

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