Page 42 of Earl of Spades


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He should have known, but somewhere, he’d begun to hope. “Of course.”

She gave him a relieved smile. “Is there time for breakfast before we leave? I’m famished.”

“There is. I’ve got to rustle up our merry band of soldiers.”

She nodded. “I’ll get a plate of food for you as well.”

“Thank you,” he said, turning away.

Bash appeared in the common room door, giving them both a level stare. But Ash ignored him as he headed for the door, intent upon finding the men. He’d do best to remain busy and ignore the rising tide of loathing that filled his chest.

Lily surely had good reasons for not answering. Perhaps it was the way he’d asked. Would it help if he declared his affection?

But every move like that left him more open to further hurt.

He’d rather face a hundred more thieves than face a rejection from Lily.

That thought spurred him out the door.

The carriage seemed ten times worse today. Lily wished for nothing more than to be emancipated from its confines.

As the vehicle rumbled down the road, moving ever closer to London, she wished to be outside. With Ash. Held close to him, her decision would seem far easier with his arms about her.

She’d been honest with him, at least. Not only had she never planned to marry, but her journey was also one of learning to be more self-reliant, stronger, less afraid.

By marrying her protector, wouldn’t she be giving up on that?

Leaning forward, she peeked out the window, attempting to catch a glimpse of him. “He asked you to marry him, didn’t he?” Arabella asked from the seat next to her.

Lizzie gasped, sitting up from her pretend nap. “Did he?”

Lily sat back, not sure she wished to discuss it.

Arabella’s brows lifted. “Well?”

“Is this what it’s like having a sister?”

“I don’t know,” Arabella answered with a smile. “Never had one before.”

“Me neither,” Lizzie added. “But I’ve friends who do and this is exactly what it’s like. They’re in each other’s affairs all the time.” Then Lizzie leaned forward, her dark hair falling over her shoulder. “And from what I’ve witnessed, it’s futile to resist.”

Lily had to suppress a grin. But rather than answer the question, she asked one of her own. “I can’t be a countess. I live in a tiny cottage. I stole my food for over a year. I’m not—”

“Good enough?” Arabella asked, crossing her arms in challenge.

Perhaps that. “What he needs.”

“And what do you need?” Lizzie asked.

She let out a long breath. “To find my inner strength.”

Arabella shook her head. “You have plenty of strength. What you’ve been lacking is security. That is what will help you be your best self.”

She looked at Arabella, hope whispering over her skin. “And you think marrying Lord Easton will provide that security.”

Arabella gave her a meaningful stare. “Only you can answer that. But you’ll never come up with the answer if you’re asking the wrong questions.”

She sat back, thinking about Arabella’s words. Her sister was right. How could she find the best path when she was seeking the most basic needs in life?

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