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“What even happened?” Allie asks, frowning curiously.
“Nothing happened!” Lily says, unable to stop looking out the window.
“She walked in on them… you know,” Dad tells her.
“Hamish!” Mum yells, mortified.
Parks tilts her head. “We weren’t exactly…”
“Well, not yet, anyway.” I shrug and Mum lets out a despondent cry.
“Surely you must know they have sex, Mum.” Henry stares at her.
“Henry.” Mum snaps. “Please!”
“They’ve been sleeping together for ages,” Allie chimes in.
I’m cackling and Parks is hiding her face behind my shoulder. We’re fucking rubbish friends tonight.
“No, they have not.” Mum is convinced though she damn well knows better.
“Darling,” Dad gives her a look, “Magnolia told you she was on the pill when she was 15.”
Mum shakes her head. “She certainly did not.”
She certainly did. Sunday night dinner, in the kitchen — Allie was there.
“And maybe she needed it for her skin,” Mum tells her fingernails, in completely denial.
“Skin, Lilian?” Parks glowers at her. “My skin is radiant. Always has been, always will be.”
“I saw them doing it,” Madeline announces to no one in particular.
“What the fuck?” I blink at the same time as Parks goes, “Oh my gosh, Madeline!”
Parks stares at her. “When?”
Everyone’s staring at Mads, pretty horrified.
“Oh relax.” She shrugs. “It’s not like I’m a bloody voyeur. I was about thirteen. So you were, what?” She looks between me and Parks, thinking to herself. “Sixteen? Seventeen? Anyway. Mum and Dad were out. I went upstairs to get some lollies from Mum’s bedside table and they were doing it up there.”
“IN MY BED?!” Mum cries, hands on her face.
“Well, on it.” Maddie shrugs, gesturing with her hands. “Like, on top. Like, not under the sheets or anything.”
I close my eyes, annoyed at my sister. “Excellent, Madeline. Thank you.”
“IN! MY! BED! Baxter James Ballentine! In my bed!” Mum keeps yelling.
“On, Mum.” I offer her a smile and scratch the back of my neck. “On.”
“Hamish! Are you hearing this? On our bed!”
“No, sorry, I missed it, sweetheart.” Dad leans in towards her. “Was it in the bed? Or on?” He flicks me an amused look.
Mum stares over at me. “How many times have you done that in our bed?”
Parks purses her mouth and shakes her head. “Just the one time.”
