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“I didn’t get sloppy,” I counter, but even I can hear the lack of conviction in my voice.
“You got emotional. You let Jared goad you into making a big mistake.”
“I knew what I was doing.” Dammit. Why do I still sound less than convincing?
Gerald certainly isn’t. He keeps his lecture going. “That deal with Barron’s company was months in the making. The fact that you walked away from it, and over some ribbing about a girl, is going to make others hot for that building. You’ll be out and Jared will reap the rewards.”
“Fine, let him.” Now I sound fucking petulant! What is going on with me?
“You think it stops with 755?” Gerald asks. “Jared’s going all around town telling his version of what happened yesterday. Jesus, every office we walk into for the next three months is going to be giving us shit about it. Are you going to walk out of all of those deals, too?”
I sit down in my high-backed, leather executive chair. Despite all the grown-up fanciness of the seat, I feel like a little boy who’s been caught drawing on the walls with a permanent marker.
“You’re right,” I say softly, my eyes downcast, staring at my dark leather desk pad. “You’re absolutely right.” I meet his gaze.
“I’m sorry. I let personal shit get in the way. I let Jared win.” I spread my hands wide in defeat and ask, “How do we fix this?”
Gerald relaxes. He buttons up his suit coat, clearly relieved to be back in business mode. “I’m working on getting things back on the right track. His people know that, in the end, it’s best for Jared to deal with us than the other lowlifes in town.”
“If anyone can set things right, it’s you,” I tell him. “Let me know if I can help. And thank you.”
Gerald nods curtly. “I’m billing you for this little reaming out, by the way.”
“I’d be shocked and disappointed if you didn’t,” I joke back, relieved to be on good terms with him again. Gerald’s been with me for a long time. I’d hate to lose him.
He starts to go, but just before he opens the office door, he glances back at me. There’s something grandfatherly in his gaze. “She that special?”
That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?
“She might be,” I say.
Gerald smiles and goes.
The door clicks shut behind him. I swivel my chair to face my view of Manhattan. It’s impressive and I’m pleased that I’ve never taken this panorama for granted. I’ve got a straight shot past the Chrysler Building, the Empire State, Liberty Tower, and clear down to the Statue of Liberty. I can also see a big chunk of New Jersey’s swampy coast, which is admittedly less impressive.
Gerald just put me through the ringer. I think I probably deserved it. I run through what he accused me of. He’s right — I got emotional. I let the flood of hormones I’m experiencing cloud my thinking, not only in business, but I’ve possibly let it cloud my thinking with Natalie, too.
Was asking her to stay with me as stupid a move as walking out on the 755 deal?
My eyes drift across the skyline. Off to my left, about fifteen blocks south and through a gap between two high rises, it’s possible to see my apartment building.
Natalie’s there.
In that building.
Under my care.
The thought makes me feel… well, a little horny, to be honest. I’m also excited; an excitement that’s tied to more than just sex. I’m excited to know that when I get there,she’llbe there, too.
There’s something else going on inside me. Another feeling that’s kind of crawling through my belly.
It feelsrightthat she’s there inmybuilding. Since I first saw her at Giuseppe’s and we got covered in wine, it seems all I want to do is protect her. To make her feel safe. To make her happy. And that desire has only grown with each encounter.
So, what do you want to call that? ‘Falling for her’? The big ‘L-word’?
It’s an overwhelming thought. It feels as vast as my city view. What am I supposed to do with a feeling that wide, with that many complications?
Fuck it. What I know for sure is, she’ll be there when I get home. All the rest I can deal with when the time comes.
I spin back to face my office and get to work.
