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26
The second the wordspassed my lips I wanted to rake them back in. A surge of dread shot through me, tingling to the edges of my toes. Panic grasped me. Why had I just dragged Brady into this?
Ben was lost for words for several seconds. His face held nothing but a blank expression. “What? When?”
I groaned inwardly. Why had I done this? “None of your business.”
“Tell me,” he said, stepping towards me.
“No.”
“Sophie, I’m warning you—”
“Don’t threaten me.”
“I’m not threatening you, Soph.” He ran his hands over his face and sighed. “I know what you’re doing—trying to hurt me like I hurt you. I get it.” He closed the gap between us, placing his hands on my shoulders. “But you can’t keep using your pain to keep us apart. Stop building up these walls. Let me in.”
Even though I felt relief he thought I was lying, a tug of war raged inside me, pulling me from one extreme to another. Here was the man I’d spent a decade of my life with. Almost half of my life. We’d built a life together, planned a future, been best friends. I’d given him my virginity, allowed him into the depths of my soul, sought him out for comfort and protection. And yet here it all was, precariously balanced on a knife’s edge. Because of me. He was ready to go on, to continue with our life, but it was all up in the air—and that was only down to me.
But then he had betrayed me, hurt me in every way possible. A best friend wouldn’t do that to me. My life partner, my future husband, wouldn’t seek satisfaction in another woman’s arms, let alone my sister’s. Everything we’d ever created was a lie. How could I ever trust him again? I wanted him to know how much this hurt, to understand the depths of my quandary.
And then there was Brady.
Or was there?
I sighed, becoming lost and frustrated in my own jumbled mix of thoughts and emotions. What was a girl to do?
“I don’t know what to say or do...”
He clasped my hands in his. “Trust me. I’ll get us through this.”
Trust me.Really?
“You can’t ask that of me, Ben. You just can’t.”
“There’s no other way to fix this. Please, Sophie.”
I threw his hands off me, refusing to be drawn in again. “I need time, Ben. If you respected me, you wouldn’t even be here.”
He took a step back, resignation flashing over his face. “It cost me a small fortune to get out here this quick—”
“Nobody asked you to come out here.”
He raised a sandy coloured eyebrow, a cloud of darkness settling over his face. “What’s happened to you? You never used to be such a...bitch. Where’s this attitude come from all of a sudden? The Sophie I know would have thanked me and jumped all over me for making such a grand gesture.”
My mouth dropped open at his words. “Seriously? Did you actually just say that to me? You, Ben.” I stabbed my index finger in the middle of his chest. “You happened to me. Or rather, you andherhappened to me.”
“Oh, for goodness sake, this is getting old. Give it a rest about me and her, will you?”
“No, I bloody well will not.”
“Yes, you will.”
I blinked several times, not quite sure if I’d heard his words correctly. “I’m sorry?”
“You will give it a rest, Sophie. And I mean that.”
“Oh really? And if I don’t?”
