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CHAPTER SIXTEEN
OCTOBER 2012
Alot can happen in a month and a half.
A lotdidhappen in those weeks.
After the night that we unofficially became a band, Sean and Brian started coming over almost every night during the work week, save for when Brian had to get up early the next morning.
We jammed, we laughed, we came up with beats and melodies. We brainstormed band names and when and where to play our first show. It was tiring and liberating.
Every Friday at the office, I spent my downtime editing the songs I’d written, or composing new ones. The more I practiced singing with the guys, the more I started to understand different rhythms. Drew had been teaching me how to play the piano on the side so that I could learn to read music, and test different notes for future songs when I needed to.
Whenever Sean and Brian weren’t at the house, and we weren’t busy playing piano or hanging out with Drew’s family, his lips were almost always on mine. Or somewhere on my body.
I tried my hardest not to think about what we were doing, because I would only end up guilty, confused, outrageously hard, and then confused all over again. I didn’t know why I felt like that–but it was a vicious cycle I was trying to break.
Some nights I went to bed swearing I wouldn’t touch him again. Not like that, anyway. Other nights, I crawled into his bed and begged him to touch me.
He was always willing to oblige.
We didn’t talk about it.
There were a lot of things about sex that I was curious about. My parents had never given me a sex talk other than reminding me to use a condom, so I wasn’t “left with a little mistake” of my own.
Sex Ed in high school was a fucking joke, and they hardly touched on what can happen sexually between two people with dicks. In my spare time away from Drew, which was hard to come by, I researched how it was done. Specifically, I taught myself how we could work our way up to penetration. If it would hurt…how to make it hurt less. It usually ended with me slamming my laptop shut and trying to convince myself we weren’t going to do that, and then I’d have thoughts for the rest of the day aboutonlythat.
We’d already done everything else, and a part of me—a large part of me—wanted to know what it would be like. And by the way Drew’s hands had started to roam toward my ass more and more, I would say he was feeling the same. I wondered if he’d been doing his research, too?
The thought of Drew looking up ways to please me sent my pulse skyrocketing. Christ, I was a mess.
One day in early October, Sean jumped around like a cat on crack as soon as he entered the house. Drew’s mother eyed him coolly. She was a great mom, but I didn’t think she loved having the other guys around so often. Still, she didn’t say anything about it. She made us food, gave us privacy, and left us alone.
Drew and I led the way down to the basement as usual. I was aware that Sean had something to share, but Drew had shot him a look that saidWait until we’re downstairs.We’d all gotten to be close friends throughout our exhausting rehearsals, and I was thankful for it, because sometimes Sean had no filter, but he could read Drew well enough by then to keep his mouth closed.
Once we were downstairs, Drew slumped down on his stool. I leaned against the wall near his drums and tried not to admire his toned, tan arms that his loose, black tank-top showed off deliciously. I could practically taste his cock on my tongue as I stood near him, and I couldn’t help but think he should have come with an XXX warning label. The arm holes of his shirt were cut farther down than necessary, allowing me to move my gaze down his chest, almost to his navel. My cock twitched in response. As Brian and Sean laid their instrument cases down, he looked up at me and licked his lips, pure seduction swirling in his eyes.
Drew flipped his baseball cap backwards and winked at me with a knowing look. I had to force myself to walk further away from him to concentrate.
“Alright, Sean, what is it?” I asked.
Sean’s face broke out in the biggest grin I’d ever seen him wear. “We got a gig.”
“What?” Drew and I asked in unison. I looked over at the drum set and saw that Drew had jumped up from his stool in his excitement.
“Are you fucking with us?” I asked. Sean was a prankster, and I loved and trusted him, but I also knew he loved to fuck around. Still, I didn’t think he’d joke about something like that.
He shook his head wildly and I knew his words must have been genuine. “You’ll never believe where the venue is. We go on first, which is scary as hell, but you gotta start somewhere, right?”
I stared at Sean in disbelief. I looked back at Drew and noticed his mouth hanging open. He looked just as shocked as I did. Brian grinned smugly. I’m sure he’d already gotten the details on their ride over.
“Well?” Drew asked impatiently. “Where? And when?”
Sean and Brian shared a shit-eating grin. “It’s November ninth. At the one and only…” he trailed off and pretended to drum with his index fingers on the couch. Brian joined in. They looked ridiculous, and I loved them for it. “The Madder Hatter!”
My chest lurched in excited anticipation.The Madder Hatter?Drew came up to stand closer to us and gave high fives to Sean and Brian. Sean went out back for his before-jam-session smoke break, and Brian went to use the facilities. Drew and I looked at each other in amazement. The Madder Hatter…where we’d met that one night in April not so long ago. It felt like fate. While we waited on the others, we stared at each other, smiling and unmoving.
Before the others came back, Drew nipped at my bottom lip and I moaned into his mouth. When he pulled back, I anxiously looked around the room. He chuckled and stole one more kiss before heading back to the drum set, leaving me needy and breathless.
