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I nod and Mike opens the door wide. The guard lets three people in, then shuts the door quietly. Two young teenage girls and their mother, from the looks of it. They’re polite, charming, and everything we love about our fanbase. We take pictures, laugh, autograph their posters, and start the cycle over again as they’re replaced with a couple of guys closer to our age, and so on.
I enjoy every moment, but that doesn’t stop me from glancing at my watch every few minutes, begging the clock to strike eleven.
We takethree more shots during the meet and greet. One more together, then two more with the rest of the crew. Even Mike joined in for one, which is highly unusual. Sometimes, I think he’s incapable of fun, then he does shit like this. I don’t drink a lot, and I’ve barely eaten today, so to say I’m a little tipsy is probably an understatement. From the looks of Drew, he’s in the same boat, because his smile never falters, and his tan skin has a rosy tint that decorates his cheeks.
When we finally reach our hotel for the night, everyone is tired and buzzing. Mike goes to his suite immediately after we exit the elevator. As we walk toward the end of the hall, Trish invites all of us back to her suite for more fun. Brian and Sean quickly agree, even though they know damn well that we will have to wake up and get back on the tour bus early tomorrow morning.
Drew catches my eye, but he doesn’t have to say a single syllable for me to understand.
I won’t be going to Trish’s room.
I fake a yawn and stretch. “Y'all have fun. I’m going to make some tea and call it a night.”
“Dude. You sound like my grandma,” Sean snickers.
Sean hasn’t changed much since high school. He still wears his long, copper hair at his shoulders. He’s still paler than pale, but there’s less acne these days. I swear I’ve seen him wear the same shirt he wore on stage tonight a decade ago.
I roll my eyes. “Were you singing and screaming on stage tonight?”
He rolls his eyes right back. “Don’t be a prima donna, Ash.”
“Let me enjoy my old lady tea in peace,” I counter.
Trish looks over to Drew who matches my strides as we walk behind the others. “Drew? You game?”
Drew doesn’t look my way, but his hands clench and unclench. He’s itching to say no but doesn’t want to be obvious.
Finally, he sighs. He holds up a single finger. “One. But I’m beat, too. So, I mean it. One drink, then I’m out.”
“Yay!” Trish squeals and claps.
My door is the first one we pass. Mike reserved the whole upper level for us and the rest of our crew. I stop and fish the key card out of my back pocket.
“Have a good night!” Trish yells back at me.
Drew looks back at me as he makes his way closer to Trish’s room. He holds up five fingers behind his back.
Five minutes, and he’s mine. That’s a damn good thing, too, because if I have to wait any longer, I’ll have to bust Trish’s door down and haul his sweet ass back to my suite.
Once alone, I put a K-cup of tea in the Keurig and turn it on. I wasn’t kidding about the tea. Or my throat feeling raw. Especially after a couple of weeks of rest. Tomorrow, I’ll have to do more vocal warm-ups and drink a ton of warm water.
I move over to the king-size bed. It’s been perfectly made—not a single wrinkle in the duvet. My suitcase is by the bed, but I don’t bother with it yet. I kick my shoes off and slam my body down onto the mattress. I should shower, but not yet. Not when I’m waiting for him.
A faint buzz brings my attention to the phone I’ve been ignoring in my pocket. I take it out and see a missed FaceTime call from Lizette. I huff out a breath.
Me: Sorry, babe. I’m totally beat after the show. Raincheck?
Lizzy: Alright, babe. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay. I can’t wait for the show tomorrow! xoxo
Me: Same. x
The familiar wave of guilt that I’ve grown sickeningly accustomed to over the past couple of years creeps up from my lower back all the way up to the base of my skull. My skin and bones feel tight, like they need to be stretched out. I toss the phone onto the bedside table and rub at my tired eyes with the palms of my hands.
I’ve been with Lizette for a long time. She’s an incredible person, and that makes my infidelity even worse. She’s one of the top models in the U.S. right now, and it’s not because she’s skinny. She has curves for days and one of the prettiest faces—high cheekbones and a unique, angular face. Her eyes are what she’s known for, though. Eyes that shine like emeralds. They’re vibrant and incredibly sultry, even when she’s not trying to pose.
I met Lizette at a gala when she first started in the industry. It was around the time we were gaining more attention after the release of our second album. She stood out to me because she didn’t beg for the camera. Instead, Lizzy stood at the back of the massive room, body pressed against the wall, people-watching as she ate meats and soft cheeses from a small plate. I had also been leaning against the wall, because the band was invited but only Brian and I had come, and I didn’t like being in spaces where I knew next to no one.
She immediately came over to me and introduced herself. She knew who I was but didn’t say so. Not until later. Her laugh is almost as good as Drew’s, especially when discussing her favorite B movies or when she’s giggling over the newest set of memes she’s stashed away for us to look at together. She’s an impeccable kisser, and any other man would surely be head over heels. But every time she kisses me, or every time we do more than kiss, my mind always slips back to Drew.
