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ChapterTwenty-Five
Lexi
I hesitatedoutside the door I'd been directed to by the nurse.She'd looked at me with a mixture of pity and sympathy.It wasn't a good combination.She might as well have told me how sorry she was, or to prepare myself for the worst.
I put my hand on the smooth, cool handle and pushed down.With a click, the door opened and I was in the room.As soon as I walked in, I wanted to turn around and run.I probably should have spent some time thinking about what I'd see when I got here or prepared myself in some way.But Andrew had given me a sleeping pill on the flight home so I could rest.When I'd woken up right as the plane touched down, I was angry with him for slipping me the pill.But in hindsight, I had needed the rest.It was going to be a long day.I had slept, but I had not prepared myself.
Not for this.
The monitors, tubes, and wires.Tears sprang to my eyes but I blinked them back.He couldn't see me like this.Not now.
"Lexi," Uncle Ray croaked, his voice just above a whisper."It's okay.Come here."
I left the sanctuary of the doorway and walked to his bedside.He looked so small.Uncle Ray always seemed to fill a room, but hooked up to the life-saving machines, he seemed to have shrunk.I took his hand.His skin was paper thin, a washed-out gray and it felt like it would dissolve with my touch.How could things change so much in three days?How was it even possible?
"Uncle Ray," I said."What...how...I don't understand."
"It's okay.My old ticker just decided it wanted a little break is all."
"Did Ben see?Was he there?"
"Such a brave boy.He called 911," he said and managed a smile."He's a good kid."
My thoughts flashed to Ben, who'd rushed to give me a hug as soon as he'd seen me walk through the hospital doors.He'd been waiting with Sara Beth.They were watching for us in the lobby.I'd held on to him, inhaling his little boy scent, feeling his warmth.I didn't want to let him go, but when Sara Beth pulled me away, I watched as he went next to Andrew, slower this time.But Andrew scooped him up and squeezed him tightly before piggy-backing him to the cafeteria for hot chocolate.All I'd ever wanted was for Andrew to be that kind of dad.But not like this.Watching them together, walking away, my heart splintered a little more, if it was even possible.But I couldn't dwell on it.There was no time.Sara Beth hadn't wasted any time filling me in on the details of Uncle Ray's heart attack.It wasn't good.As if any heart attack could be good.But this was bad and I said as much to him now.
"It's not good, Uncle Ray.Sara Beth told me you need surgery."
He nodded.
"A quadruple bypass," I said and the tears I'd been fighting began to fall."That's big.Really big."
"It's okay, Lexi."He tried to squeeze my hand but the result was pathetic.
"Is it?"
"Yes.It's going to take a lot more than a little blockage to get rid of me.Don't worry, I'm going to be here for a long time to come.The doctors tell me it's just a matter of a little surgery.It's routine.They'll clear up my tubes and I'll be good as new."
I looked at him sideways and tried to wipe my tears.
"I will," he said."And maybe now you'll actually be able to convince me to eat some of that rabbit food you're always trying to push on me."
"It's lettuce, Uncle Ray."Despite myself, I smiled.
"That's what I want to see," he said."No more tears now.I don't want to talk about this anymore.It's boring and there's nothing to say."He tried to wave his hand but the effort seemed to exhaust him."Tell me about Vegas and the wedding.I want to live vicariously through you."
Dutifully, I obeyed.I filled him in on the details of Nicole's meltdown before the ceremony and how her mother was able to attend via the Internet.He smiled when I told him about the battle with Nicole's hair.But he fell asleep before I could tell him the rest.
I didn't let go of his hand.I know it was stupid, but I had the strangest feeling that he could draw energy from my body if only I could stay connected to him.
I didn't know if I should tell Uncle Ray about Leo.I'd always told him everything but what would he say if he knew the truth?I watched the lines on the monitor, the rhythm of his heart.If I lost him, I'd be alone.Except for Ben, of course.And Leo?But what about Andrew?
My thoughts flashed back to what I'd been about to do the night before, when I went back to the hotel room.I couldn't tell him now, not with everything else going on.But what about Leo?I never said goodbye.He was probably still waiting for me to call him.Oh, God, he probably thought I'd left again.I needed to talk to him.
I didn't even have to close my eyes to feel his lips against mine.To remember the way his arms felt wrapped around me.No, my body didn't need any prompting to recall the way Leo made me feel.I needed to call him, now.
"Mrs.Titan?"A voice startled me from my thoughts and I turned towards the nurse standing in the doorway.
"That's me."
