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She smiled, and it was a real smile.The beautiful, heart-stopping smile that melted me from the first moment I met her all those years ago.
I knew she wasn’t excited about the trip.Of course she’d tried to pretend she was, but I could see there was something, a hesitancy of some kind, holding her back from really getting excited about it.It was Vegas.I wasn’t dumb.Despite the fact that Vegas had given us...well, us, Lexi still struggled with the city.As if she was haunted by it.But that was going to change.Not only was I going to check out this opportunity Keith kept raving about—and he did, with multiple emails that outlined the details—but I was determined to get things back on line with Lexi.She was the best thing that had ever happened to me, but with every miscarriage, something inside her dimmed a little.It killed me to watch it happening, especially because as her light dimmed, there wasn’t a damned thing I could do about it.I knew she wanted a baby more than anything and I knew it was because she felt she owed me the experience because I’d missed it with Ben.And yes, I’d welcome another member of our family, but not because I missed anything with Ben.I may not have met him until he was five but it didn’t matter.He was an amazing kid and we still had a lifetime together.No, I did not want to increase our family at the expense of what it was doing to the woman I loved.And I’d tell her that, too.It was time for a new start.No more baby talk.I couldn’t watch her go through it again.I was a strong man, but everyone had their kryptonite, and watching Lexi hurt was mine.
When we’d retrieved our bags, I led my family to the doors and we were immediately hit by the desert heat.It was the middle of November but it was still hot in Nevada, at least during the day.And even if the locals were all wearing sweaters and jeans, it was a hell of a lot warmer than the Canadian Rockies.
“Keith arranged a car for us,” I said at the same moment I saw the driver holding a sign that read “Mendez.”
“A limo?”Ben gave a fist pump.“That’s so cool, Dad.”It had been five years, but hearing Ben calling me Dad never got old; neither did doing something he thought was cool.Although, as he got older, those moments came fewer and further between.
“Nothing but the best for you, buddy.”I stopped myself moments before ruffling his hair and settled for a light punch to the shoulder.Lexi shook her head, but I could see the satisfied look on her face as we settled into the leather seats and I slid my hand up her thigh, secretly, so our son didn’t see and make a face.
While Ben was busy checking out the features of the limo and choosing stations on the built-in satellite radio, I took the chance to lean into Lexi and whisper in her ear.
“Do you realize this is our first family holiday?”
“No.”She shook her head and stared at me.“It can’t be.We must have...”She drifted off but it only took her a moment to come to the same conclusion.“Wow.You’re right.I can’t believe that.”
It was amazing how quickly time went by and we were long overdue for some family memories together.I was very aware that Lexi and her first husband, Andrew—The man whom she’d agreed to marry only days after meeting me.The man who’d raised my child for his first five years of his life, as his own, despite knowing that Ben couldn’t possibly be his.The man who was living the life I should have had if I hadn’t made one wrong decision that had kept me away from the love of my life that day—I was fully aware they’d had family holidays.Trips to Mexican resorts with pools and waterslides every second winter.Disneyland to meet Mickey Mouse when Ben was four.Even a cruise in the Mediterranean when Ben was a baby.Lexi had shown me all the pictures.Not to make me jealous, or resentful of what I’d missed, but to fill me in on the details of Ben’s life.And I hadn’t been resentful or jealous either, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been dying to make some new memories as a real family.And now was the time.
“It’s long overdue.”I kissed her, soft and sweet.“And it’s going to be great, Lex.Just what we need.”
