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"Why do you have to constantly criticize Andrew's parenting?It gets a bit old."
His face changed with the edge in my voice and his hands came up in defense."What's cooking?"he asked after a moment.
I smiled, thankful for the change of subject."Are you staying for dinner?"
"Depends," he said and pushed up from his chair to peer into the oven."Casserole?Tuna?Is it healthy?You're a great cook, Lexi.But I can't deal with all the healthy crap."
"Don't worry, I put chips on top to up the artery-clogging factor," I said and swatted him away from the oven."You know you're staying; you love my tuna casserole.Besides, some healthier choices wouldn't be a bad idea, you know.Didn't the doctor tell you to get your cholesterol down?"
"And how would you know that?"
"Sara Beth and I had tea last week.She told me about your test results."
"Women," I heard him mutter as I pulled vegetables from the fridge.
"High cholesterol is nothing to fool around with, Uncle Ray," I said, ignoring him as I started chopping vegetables for a salad."It wouldn't take much for you to make a few changes.Starting with tuna casserole."
I tossed the vegetables into the bowl with the lettuce and put them on the table.
"Whatever," Uncle Ray said."There's nothing wrong with steak and potatoes.But as long as you're cooking, I'll eat your tuna.But I thought Andrew hated tuna casserole."
I turned away, but not before I caught the look on his face.He felt sorry for me.I knew it.He didn't have to say it.Andrew did hate tuna casserole, which is why I was making it tonight.He wouldn't be home for dinner.Again.
"How many times this week, Lex?"Uncle Ray asked.His voice was heavy with concern so I turned back and pasted the biggest smile I could muster on my face.
"Third time.But he's working on a big deal."My excuse sounded lame even to my own ears, and my eyes flicked to the bouquet of flowers on the counter.
Andrew's latest apology.They sat in my favorite vase.
"Nice flowers," Uncle Ray said, following my gaze."When I gave that vase to you, Lex, it was a symbol of love and commitment.The same thing it meant when I gave it to your mom and dad years earlier."
"I remember."Of course I remembered.The vase was a gift on my wedding day.My mother had loved it.I loved it.Andrew made a point to find me beautiful flowers to fill it.Lately those gifts seemed to be borne more out of guilt than love.
"I know you don't want to talk about it, but I'm just going to say one thing."
I leaned back against the counter and braced myself.
"A boy needs a father."
"A boy has a father."
"Not just in name," he said, "but in action, too.Andrew needs to spend some time with Ben."
I opened my mouth to defend him again but closed it again.What was the point?Uncle Ray was right.Andrew wasn't a bad man.I knew he loved me, but when it came to parenting, he...well, he just wasn't around.There was always an excuse.
Even from the very beginning.Andrew wasn't excited when he found out we were pregnant.He didn't want to discuss baby names or nursery colors.I tried to ignore his lack of enthusiasm at prenatal classes, the marked differences between him and the other doting dads-to-be, but it picked away at me.When Ben was born, and I was consumed with four a.m.feedings, dirty diapers, endless loads of tiny laundry, and all the other details of parenthood, I flourished with the responsibility while Andrew pulled further away.It never got better.Uncle Ray wasn't telling me anything new.I wasn't blind.Or stupid.
"You deserve better, Lex," Uncle Ray said after a moment.
"Andrew's a good man.He works hard for us."
"I used to tell you not to settle for a man who didn't treat you like a princess.Remember?"
I nodded.
"Well, I take it back."
I perked up.Uncle Ray never took back his words.Ever.
