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ChapterNineteen
Lexi
I was running late,again.It was starting to become a disturbing trend.By the time I returned to the room, there wasn't enough time to shower so I threw on some clothes and slipped out to meet Nicole before Andrew even stirred from his bed.
Thank goodness.I didn't think I could hold a normal conversation with him when all I could think of was Leo and the way he looked at me, full of desire and longing.Was it possible to still have feelings for someone after six years?I needed to get a hold of myself.
But it was possible.I didn't need someone to tell me; I could see it.It was in the way he held my gaze and wouldn't let me look away.In the way he touched me, and stroked my skin with his thumb without even realizing it.It was in the sound of his voice, the way he said my name.But most frightening, it was in the way I felt when I looked at him.
The sharp ring of the elevator arriving interrupted my thoughts.It was Nicole's wedding day.The last thing I had time for was...whatever it was.Nicole was likely pulling her hair out with stress and I was obsessing about someone, something from six years ago.
I squeezed myself into the elevator with a handful of tourists and their giant suitcases and went down to the lobby to find her so I could play my role of maid of honor.
As it turned out, I was wrong.Nicole wasn't the frazzled mess I'd thought she'd be.In fact, she was waiting for me when I stepped off the elevator.She looked rested and fresh, with her hair pulled back in a ponytail and only the barest of make-up on to compliment her features.
"You look fabulous," I said and meant it.
"Of course I do.I'm getting married today."
"Exactly.I thought you'd be...well, a little more..."
"Stressed?Obsessed?Freaked out?"
"Well, yes."I couldn't help but laugh."You have to admit, Nic.You have a history of getting a little worked up before major events, and today's event rates pretty high on the major scale."
"That's just it," Nicole said."There is nothing more major than my wedding.And I decided to try a different approach.Instead of pulling my usual freak-out, I've decided to be Zen."
"You've decided to be Zen?"
"That's right.It's all mental," Nicole said and tugged on my arm."Come on, we're going to be late.I've booked us in for the works.I love you, Lex, but seriously, when was the last time you had a facial?"
I touched my skin."There's nothing wrong with my face."
"You're all red and blotchy.But don't worry, we'll get it fixed."
We walked through the main lobby, past a restaurant and through a bank of slot machines before Nicole led me down another corridor and into the spa.Stepping through the heavy glass doors was like walking into an oasis of calm.Trickling walls of water flanked both sides of the small reception area and gentle pipe music floated through the space.It was a very different world from the flashing lights, blaring top-forty music, and atmosphere of excess on the other side of the doors.I exhaled.This would be the perfect place to let my mind go blank and forget about Leo.
After checking in, we were led to an equally peaceful changing room with bamboo mats laid over polished pebble floors; the scent of vanilla incense filled the room in the subtle way only spas seem to manage.
"What are you going to do with your hair?"Nicole lifted my still damp ponytail off my back."Eww.You smell like pool water."She dropped my hair and looked at me."Were you swimming this morning?"
I turned away from her and pulled my t-shirt over my head.I was an awful liar, mostly because everything I was feeling, ever, showed on my face."I went for a quick swim before breakfast," I said.I tugged off my shorts and slid into the thickest, plushest robe I'd ever seen.It was like being wrapped in a cloud.
"I didn't think you did that anymore.Swim, I mean," Nicole said."What made you decide to do that this morning?I assumed you were late because you and Andrew, well..."
"I don't know," I said, ignoring her comment."I felt like it.So I did."I stuffed my clothes in a locker and turned the lock before slipping the key into the pocket of the robe.
"Okay."Nicole took the locker next to me."It just seems weird.But I suppose last time we were here, you saw—"
"So," I interrupted her before she could finish her thought.I needed to block Leo from my thoughts, not discuss him with Nicole in every detail.Which is exactly what would happen if I didn't change the subject.I grabbed her hand and led her out to the waiting area."Tell me about this theory of yours.I think I could use some Zen calmness today."
It worked.Once I got her talking about anything that interested her, she was infamous for forgetting about everything else.Which, fortunately, kept the conversation firmly on her and off the topic of my morning swim.True to her word, Nicole had booked us in for the works and she'd asked for us to have the "girlfriend experience," which meant we got to do everything together.
The topic of being Zen may induce calm in most people, but for Nicole it incited a wave of excitement.She chattered about the new meditation class Ryan had signed them up for a few weeks previously and how the breathing techniques helped calm her down and focus on her center.I couldn't help but wonder where those techniques were a few days ago when she'd freaked out.But I didn't think it was appropriate to ask.
Nicole is a hand talker, which wasn't ideal for the manicurist who patiently waited with her nail file at the ready every time Nic needed to punctuate a point by waving her hand in the air.For two hours, I listened to her as the conversation deviated from breathing exercises to her sex life with Ryan, to the paint colors she was considering for the condo they were redecorating.For a while I was so thankful that we weren't talking about me that I didn't realize that what Nicole wasn't saying was more important than what she was saying.
"Nic."I interrupted her before she could start in on the tile samples she was considering."Have you talked to your mom today?"
