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He fell silent for a minute."That's why I don't understand why I did what I did.Looking back, it didn't seem like a big deal at the time.Tamara wasn't working that night.In fact, one of the blackjack dealers was getting married, so there was a huge party with a lot of the staff at the hotel.And by luck of the draw, I was in charge of the event.Everything started out great at first; all the details I'd arranged went off without a hitch.And all our friends were there.People Tamara and I regularly went out and partied with.Everyone was having a great time.It was definitely one of my finer events and when I was offered a bit of coke, I didn't think it would hurt.After all, these were my friends.
"Just when I thought everything was going well, I noticed Tamara on the dance floor.She was surrounded by men and there was no doubt that she was loving the attention.I wasn't enjoying it as much, so when she came to get another drink, I took her aside and confronted her.Of course there was a scene.She yelled at me and said I was boring and no fun anymore.She told me that if I wanted to keep her, I would need to prove it to her.Then she downed a shot and went straight back to the dance floor and into the arms of some guy.Right in front of me."
"Leo, that's awful."
"Not as awful as what I did."
"Tell me."
He wouldn't look at me as he said, "I went to the bar and took three shots.Tequila.Then I went out on that dance floor and proceeded to show my wife and the rest of the crowd just how much damn fun I could be.It worked, at least for Tamara, but my boss didn't think it was so great that I drank almost an entire bottle of the customer's booze, and proceeded to get so smashed that I ended up crashing in one of the suites with ten of my closest friends.But not before we completely trashed it."
"Oh my goodness, Leo.Really?"
"The worst part is, I don't remember a thing after doing the shots."
He looked at me then and I could see the worry lines etched in his face."I'm not proud of it, Lexi."
"Tell me what happened next."
"I was fired and Tamara left me."
"She leftyou?"
"She didn't want to be associated with me.She was afraid she would lose her job, too.I let her go.I realized that I didn't like who I was with her.Who I had already become.I started going to meetings right after and I haven't used since."
"That's good.Really good."It was my turn to squeeze his hand but he wouldn't look at me.
"Three weeks later," he said, "they offered me my job back on the condition that I pay for the damages, go on probation for six months and, of course, change hotels.I jumped at the chance.The divorce was finalized and I haven't looked back."
"And Tamara?"I had to know.
Leo shrugged."Last I heard, she was still a party girl.She doesn't work for us anymore.The rumor was that she got caught stealing, but I don't know.I don't care.That's a chapter of my life I'm not very proud of, and I'm not that man anymore."
"It doesn't sound like you."
"It wasn't me," he said."It was me trying to forget who I really was, and I'll never make that mistake again."
Releasing his hands, I leaned over the small table and brushed at a piece of hair that had fallen over his forehead."Good," I said and let my fingers linger on his skin."Because I like who you really are and I wouldn't want you to change for anything."
Leo took his free hand and pressed my palm against his cheek, turned and placed a gentle kiss against my wrist that felt scandalous and perfect all at the same time."So, now that you know..."
I shook my head."It doesn't matter one bit."
He leaned forward and I closed my eyes.I knew what was coming and every fiber in my body yearned for the feel of his lips on mine.For the taste of him.The second his mouth made contact with mine, a shock flew through me, landing in my core.I opened my mouth, ready for more.His hand reached out to my cheek and his thumb stroked gentle circles on my cheek while his lips worked gentle kisses on mine.
It felt perfect, it felt right, it felt like—Leo.With one kiss, everything I'd been missing for six years became clear.It was sweet, there was no pressure behind it, but I couldn't deny the intensity there.
"Leo," I said when we finally broke apart."I..."
I couldn't finish the sentence.There were too many unknowns.
"Please don't say that you shouldn't have done that," he said."Because if you felt even a fraction of what I just felt..."His thumb resumed the slow circles on my cheek and for some reason, the sensation made me want to cry."Lexi, I am fully and completely in love with you.I always have been.So please, don't tell me that you shouldn't have kissed me.I don't know if I could bear to hear it."
"But," I said, fighting back tears, "Andrew.I can't do this to him."
"Do you love him?"Leo whispered."Like I've always loved you?The way I think you love me?"
"No," I whispered through a veil of tears."No."
Leo drew me forward and met my lips again.This time both his hands held my head, and the intensity behind his kiss was clear.When he pulled back, he used his fingers to wipe my tears and said, "Then what, my dear, are we going to do?Because I can't let you go again.I won't."
