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CHAPTERTWO
Aurelia
I gather up the brochures,writing pads and pens and slide them into a drawer to make space on the dresser, then I carefully place my good luck charms in a row, one at a time. The verbena candle Ana bought me to invoke some sense of familiarity wherever in the world I am. The small trophy I won at my first talent show, aged eight. It reminds me of what I love about music and dancing, why I keep at it, despite the way this industry turns the people you love into near-strangers. Lastly, the gold locket my grandmother gave me before she died two years ago, to remind me to always keep my head in the clouds and my feet on the ground.
“Well, here we are, Grams,” I say, opening the locket and looking in at the face I knew more intimately than my own mother’s. “Miami. You always wanted to come to here. Well, this is it. And the Ritz Carlton, no less.”
“Did she want to stay here?” Ana says behind me, pausing between hanging outfits in the closet.
I laugh out loud, dragging my gaze away from the locket to my best friend, and the closest thing I have to family. “No, not Grams. She would actually be turning in her grave knowing we’re here. She hated all this…materialism. Would have called it vulgar. She’d have preferred to stay in some beach hut somewhere, floating around in a kaftan, smoking a joint or something.”
Ana chuckles and returns to smoothing down my favorite Stella McCartney dress and placing it in the closet alongside a Thierry Mugler gown. “She sounds awesome. I know I always say this but I wish I had met her. I can’t believe I never did.”
“She lived too far away. And she never liked Chuck, so when Mom married him, she refused to visit. She knew Mom and Chuck were off doing their own thing, especially in the early days, and I was on my own a lot. She asked me to move in with her so many times. Part of me wishes I had.”
“But, then you’d have moved away and we probably wouldn’t have stayed besties,” Ana replies, turning to lift another packaged outfit off the bed.
“Exactly. These things happen for a reason.”
Ana stops and glances down at the locket in my hand. “I’m so sorry she’s gone, Ray,” she says, using the nickname she gave me, like, forever ago.
“I know,” I say, sadly. “Me too.”
Ana puts the packaged outfit back down on the bed. “Do you want to go for a walk? Just the two of us?”
I almost snort. “Yeah. I’d love that. Never gonna happen.”
“I’m serious,” Ana says, diving across the bed to her own bags. She pulls out a brown wig, a pair of Jackie O sunglasses and a Burberry mac. “I came prepared.”
“It’s beige,” I pout. “I would never wear beige.”
“Exactly,” she says, bouncing back up to her feet. “It’s a disguise. You’re not supposed to look like you.”
I shake my head. “Tried that before, remember? It didn’t work. It never does. And they know I’m staying here, don’t they? Chuck made sure of that. The whole damn world knows the Birds are staying at the Ritz Carlton.”
I stride across to the window, pull back the curtains and gesture out the window without even looking. Ana rolls her eyes and reluctantly follows my pointed finger. I can hear the crowd gathered below so I know what she’s looking at.
“Yes,” she nods. “This does complicate things. But, come on, Ray. How good will it feel to sneak past them all, none of them any the wiser? We could go to a little café, or a quiet park, just… somewhere outside and not cooped up in this stifling building.”
“You feel it too, huh?”
Ana steps towards me and takes hold of both my hands.
“Ray,” she says quietly. “I always feel it. It’s claustrophobic; it’s oppressive. You are pushed around like cattle at a market, and worked to the freaking bone. These hotels that I used to think were so glitzy and decadent, they don’t shine anymore for me. I’ve seen what lies behind them, and it’s not happiness. It’s deep dissatisfaction. It’s a ravenous need to be better than everyone else, and that’s miserable. You’re miserable.”
“Not all the time,” I say, defensively.
“No, that’s true. When you’re up on that stage, or at the meet and greets, you are incredibly happy—you come to life. But all the other times—and there area lotof other times—you’re miserable, you’re lonely, you’re creatively starved. I’m the only person in the world who doesn’t envy your life.”
“But I’m not lonely,” I protest. “I have you and Billy.”
She smiles, sadly. “You do. You really do. We love you Ray, so much. But, you know we won’t be here forever. Billy has to leave for school in a few days, and I can only stay long enough to help you settle, then I have go help Mom in the store.”
“If it’s the money, Ana, I can pay you…” I say, clutching at straws.
“I know you can,” she replies, sternly. “And you know I’d never take it. Mom needs the help. Ever since Aunt May stepped down, she hasn’t been able to find anyone reliable to do the deliveries. I just need to help her get back on track and find someone decent to take over Aunt May’s work, then I can come back, ok?”
I would offer Ana’s mom money too if it wouldn’t totally offend her, because I’m desperate. When Billy and Ana leave, I will have no one. No one except my parents, who have both become strangers to me over the five years since the success of my first single. Our relationship now is all business. Chuck, my stepfather, is my manager. I was fifteen when I first hit the number one spot withBreak His Heartand I had no idea about managing the finance side of things, or my schedule. In a way, I was lucky my mom met him—he took over the business of being Aurelia Bird.
