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I glance at the set list one more time as the platform starts to move, slowly carrying me upwards to a plinth on which I perform my opening song,Feel Me, a new raunchy number that signals my transition from girl to woman. It seems pretty apt right now.
Tonight’s show is going to go a little differently. My second costume change has been brought forward to coincide with a very special announcement. I have to push aside the sadness of my own love life, to help two wonderful people celebrate their own.
* * *
When I walk backonto the stage, second outfit in place, instead of launching straight intoCrazy Babyas usual, I walk to the front of the stage and wait until the audience quietens. No matter how hard I try to stop them, my eyes search the crowd for Isaac. He’s not standing in his usual place at the side of the stage. Luca is there tonight instead. I know for a fact the rest of the security team is here too. I spot Carter, Hud and Jax in the security bay at the front. Tawny, Seleste and Maisie are standing to the side, watching, and waiting to hear what I’m about to say. Isaac is nowhere to be seen, but hemustbe here somewhere. He knows what’s about to happen, it was his idea. A part of me irrationally wonders if I’ve pissed him off so much he’s stayed away on this important night to avoid me. I shove the thought away and launch into my planned script.
“You know, it’s usually around this point in the evening I invite someone up onto the stage.”
Another roar goes up from the crowd and a few kids are hoisted onto parents’ shoulders to catch my eye.
“Tonight is going to be alittledifferent,” I say, walking along the front edge of the stage, enjoying myself. A few shouts of “How?” “Tell us!” and “I love you, Aurelia!” rise up from the mass of bodies.
“A certain person will be joining me on stage in a moment. But, I want you to be gentle with them. I know this person suffers terribly from stage fright.” I stop and scan the audience, slowly, dramatically.
“So,” I continue, resuming my strut along the stage, “here’s what we’re going to do.” I wait for complete silence. “We’re going to be super welcoming and super supportive to this person. We need to coax him up here, ok?”
A voice comes through my headset—one of the runners. “He’s ready. He’s shaking like a fucking leaf but I’ve gotta hold of him.” Good. The last thing I need is for Connor to bail.
“Are you ready, guys?” I say, standing at the center of the stage, my arms open. “After three, we’re going to chant ‘Connor’, ok?”
I see Tawny’s head flip to Seleste in the corner of my eye, and can’t help but smile at what’s about to happen.
“One, two, three.Connor, Connor, Connor…”
The voice comes through my headset again. “Ten seconds and he’s coming on.”
Connor, Connor, Connor…
“That’s it, guys, perfect! Keep it going!Connor, Connor…”
I look to my right and see a pale, sweating Connor walk tentatively onto the stage. He gets a few feet and looks out at the audience. For a second I think he might be about to turn around and bail, but to his credit, he keeps moving towards me. I extend my arm.Connor, Connor…He takes my hand and I thrust it aloft both of us and the crowd cheers like they’re trying to bring the house down.
When the applause gradually dies down, I lower our hands but keep hold of him. He really is shaking like a leaf.
“I would like you to meet my very good friend, Connor Johnson. He’s the head of security here on Starling Key and he has something very important he wants to say.” A runner scurries across the stage and passes me a hand-held mic. Connor is trembling so bad I hold it up in front of him, afraid that if he takes it from me, he’ll drop it.
“Um,” he starts, then swallows and coughs. “Um…”
I drop his hand briefly to close my fingers around my mic. “Look at me,” I whisper, then I grab his hand again. He turns to face me and I nod encouragingly.
“I, er… I would like to invite my girlfriend onto the stage,” he says. I glance at the sound guy so he knows to up the levels on Connor’s mic as he’s so quiet I suspect no one heard that.
“Can you say that again?” I press.
He coughs again and this time it reverberates around the concert hall. It seems to shock him into action. He takes hold of the mic. “I’d like to invite my girlfriend up to the stage,” he says, more resolutely this time. The crowd hears that and there’s uproar. Everyone knows now what’s about to happen. Carter and Hud lift Tawny up as though she’s made of cloud particles and she lands red-faced and trembling on the stage. I extend my now-free arm and beckon her over.
“What the fuck?” she mouths at me. Another runner sprints over with a second mic and hands it to Tawny. I glance at them both to check they’re going to be ok. It’s nerve-wracking as hell being up on a stage in front of eight thousand people all hanging onto your every word. Connor nods, his expression a chaotic combination of fear and conviction, and I step backwards giving them the stage.
When almost-total silence finally descends, Connor looks lovingly into Tawny’s eyes and I feel another wave of sadness flood my stomach, only for it to be quickly replaced by joyful anticipation. It’s like being on a rollercoaster of emotions.
“Tawny,” he begins. “You know there’s only one person in the world I would stand up here on a stage for.”
She presses a hand to her mouth and nods, sending a stream of tears running over her fingers.
“I’ve wanted to do this for as long as I’ve known you; it’s just taken me a while to translate the feeling into words.”
He holds her eyes as he swallows and takes another sobering breath. My gaze drifts to his pants to make sure he isn’t actually peeing. He’s nervous enough.
