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Ignoring her, Valerie waved to the contractors Frank Penn and Hal Neilson as she and Carine started up the magnificent porch’s steps. “Happy to see a couple of familiar faces,” she said, eying the pretty flower-shaped cutouts in the stair risers. She didn’t do much work in existing homes, but would have loved to sink her teeth into a big project one day…assuming it wasn’t located halfway between the middle of nowhere and hell.
“Shit, you let Carine drag you way out here to the mosquito mansion?” Hal asked. The mason blew out a cloud of sweet-smelling smoke, which Carine made a sour face at.
“She promised me a good time,” Valerie said in a flat tone.
Frank chuckled and ground out his cigar in the nearby ashtray. “Oh, you’ll get that, all right.”
Valerie gave him a look of warning. “Did you, by chance, find me a plumber?”
“Nah. Told you I would by Monday. Give me some credit.”
“We’re cutting it close.”
“Hey!” he balked, indignant. “You do your job and let me do mine.”
“Myjob is to make you do yours.” She’d be the one getting flak from the guys at Lipton for not being on top of things—not Frank. She was the employee. He was just local contracted talent.
Frank waved a hand in concession. “Okay, you got me there. Still. I’ll get someone. Stop frettin’. Hey, I know—let me get you a drink. You’ll probably need it once your brain makes sense of what your eyes are seeing.” He started for the door but stopped and turned to her. “Did Valerie tell you what you’d be seeing?”
“Nope. I’m totally in the dark.”
He nodded. “Yeah, you’re gonna need that drink, then. Give me your ticket, and I’ll take you inside and tell you what’s what.”
Valerie cast a glance over her shoulder at Carine whose smile had gone from quivering and untrustworthy to downright predatory. “Do you get a special bonus for delivering me in one piece or something?” Valerie asked her. “Are they going to harvest my skin and sell off my organs on the black market?”
“Nope. I’m sure there are people inside who’ll be very interested in seeing more of your skin, though.”
Frank laughed and gave Valerie a nudge toward the door. “Skin and probably certain other organs, too, but only if you let them.”
She pulled away from Frank, put up her hands, and gave her head a hard shake. “Okay, no. Not going any farther. Someone tell me what the hell is going on here or I’m not taking another step unless it’s back to the car. And I swear, Carine, Iwillhotwire that little piece of shit and burn rubber if I have to.”
Carine pouted. “Don’t talk about my car like that. It didn’t do anything to you.”
Valerie could feel her eyes bulge. “Right, right. Nothing at all. It just made my ass black-and-blue and cut runnels into my shoulder with the seatbelt.” Valerie drew in a long, bolstering breath and turned to acknowledge the newcomer at the door.
He was tall, tan, and had his dark hair pulled back into a ponytail at his nape. In his smoking jacket and cargo shorts, he managed to exude a Hugh Hefner-Crocodile Hunter crossover vibe. His furrowed brow and bare feet disarmed her. He looked so comfortable in his own skin that she couldn’t help but to feel the same.
“What happened?” he asked. “Did y’all make another pretty lady change her mind before she even got to the door? I can’t say I blame her. I’m trying to keep this shit on the up-and-up, and y’all are bringing down the property value just by standing on my porch.”
Frank waved a dismissive hand at him. “Pssssh, I think we’ve already paid for your property two, three times over. Matter of fact, I think I’m gonna claim me a little piece of it. Maybe this square right here.” He paced a four-foot by four-foot square around an ancient rocking chair. “Gonna get me a plaque and everything, and it’ll say, ‘Frank paid for this shit’.”
“I didn’t make you pay. I didn’t fish your wallet out of your pants and take your money. You handed it over because you were hoping to come here anddropyour pants.” He showed off a wealth of straight white teeth, but even with the smile, there was nothing easygoing about the newcomer anymore.
Valerie got a sinking feeling. Either she’d stumbled into the oddest possible location for a proctologist’s office or Carine had dragged Valerie to a gathering of deviants.
Valerie knew a little something about the latter because of that wholetakes one to know onething.
She’d been trying so hard not to be one anymore.
Turning to Carine, she put her fists on her hips. “Well.”
Carine cast her gaze heavenward and sighed. “Thought I was doing you a favor, that’s all.”
“Tell me about the favor,friend.”
The barefooted stranger leaned against the nearby column and crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah,” he drawled. “I’d like to hear you explain it, ginger girl.”
“Fine.” Carine rolled her eyes and scoffed. “The proceeds from the ticket sales go to Clay here to help him offset the cost of renovating this historical woodpile. He’d be better off setting a match to it and starting from scratch if you’d ask me. He’s been fiddling with it for…huh.” She looked to Hal. “How many years, Hal?”
