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He didn’t think she was going to respond.
She stared at her hands for so long, worrying her lip between her teeth that he wondered if they’d reached another one of those lows where he had to back off. As important as the topic was to him, he would rather back off than abrade her trust.
But then she took a breath and opened her mouth. In a soft, pleading sound that was nearly a whisper, she said, “Everything. I want everything. I can’t have it, though. You can’t possibly empathize with that.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re a rich white guy who already has his life all figured out. You’ve got privileges and resources. I’ve got hurdles and a lot of doubt, and not just my own, but from folks who look at me and think I can’t do the job I’ve wanted to do since I was a little girl. The one that I went to school for and scrimped through that grueling apprenticeship for. I’ve been working too damn hard not to succeed. Ihaveto succeed.”
Tim sat up straighter and stared down at his plate. He didn’t know where she was coming from and couldn’t pretend to know anything except that she was having a hard time of it. He couldn’t fix that for her. He couldn’t spend money to make her situation better, and there were no strings he could pull to have favors done.
Maybe it was selfish of him, but he wished he could fix everything for her so she could say, “Let’s go away.” And he wanted her to do it because it was fun and because shewantedto, and not because she was running from something or someone.
She let out a dry laugh. “Oh, fuck. I’ve gone and brought down the mood, haven’t I? Wanna hear a stupid joke? Or maybe you’d like me to sing to you? I’m not as good a singer as my sister, but I know a few dirty limericks I’ve picked up on job sites.”
There she was trying to entertain him whenhewas supposed to be the observant, considerate dom.
Get your head out of your ass, Dowd.
He tossed the pillow aside and pushed his empty plate away. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to get my tablet so you can send that email. I’m sure the response will be the big joke we both need.”
“What do you think the worst-case scenario is?” Valerie followed him into the bedroom, still clutching part of a sandwich. She perched on the edge of the unmade bed.
He grabbed sweatpants out of a drawer and found a clean T-shirt to put on.
“Wait, don’t answer that. Miami?” She pointed at his shirt and tucked the remnant of her sandwich into her mouth.
“Yep. Clay used to work down there. I’d make it down every so often back in the day. It was hard to get away from home with needing to be in the workshop building boats and shuttling my kid around.”
Fuck.Did I tell her about him?
He remembered then. He had that first night in his truck. She hadn’t said anything about it. He couldn’t be sure she’d even heard him.
It took all the inner strength he had not to get defensive or try to explain away things she hadn’t asked about. Carine had said not to dump all his baggage on Valerie, but Valerie needed to know some things if they were going to get anywhere. He didn’t want to get in too deep only to find she’d be yet another woman who’d flee at the very idea of him having an adult child.
“Kevin’s eighteen now,” he said. “Going on nineteen.”
Her lips parted and forehead furrowed. “It’s hard to imagine that you have a child that age.”
“The gray in my hair didn’t give it away?”
She chuckled and leaned back onto her elbows. “It just didn’t cross my mind, honestly. Did he live in your house? The one you’re in now, I mean. I’m trying to imagine it.”
“Yeah. From the time he was around ten. That’s when I bought the property.”
“I guess that house would have been okay back then for just the…threeof you?” She met his gaze and it was full of questions.
He’d answer every one she had, really, if he thought doing so would earn him points, but he did need to tread carefully. Even if there was nowhere for her to run at the moment or if she couldn’t disconnect from him as if they were simply on a phone call, he didn’t want her to withdraw when he was just starting to get her to open up.
“Yes,” he said. “Me, my ex-wife, and Kevin.”
“You’re friendly with her? Your ex-wife, I mean. You must be if she buys your clothes.”
Here we go.
That query had always ended up being a date-killer in the past, and he wasn’t going to lie. Lying had never been his style.
He sucked in some air and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Yep. It wasn’t an acrimonious divorce. We’ve known each other pretty much our whole lives. We just weren’t right for each other.”
