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Carine tried to turn, but Heidi was still holding her by the hair. “Deviance?” she asked with awe. “Is that a word he’s used?”
“Please, that hardly rates as offensive for him. He’s the typical sort of churchgoing progressivist who means well because he just loves me so very much, but he wishes I were still regular. Perhaps it would have been easier for him if Tim and I hadn’t remained friendly.” Heidi finally cinched the elastic snug around Carine’s hair. She got to work twisting two even hanks of it around the center to form a bun. The three pins would have to be enough.
“You’re a good daughter,” Carine said. “I told my mother I went out on Friday. She asked if I was on a date, and I said, ‘Oh, I don’t know. I don’t see a reason to label things.’ Then she asked if I was out with anyone she knew, I guess because she’s still hot to trot about setting me up with one of those flat-assed, knuckle-dragging drones that are sons or nephews or friends of her friends. I honestly believe she just wants a wedding to plan. She doesn’t care who the main characters are.”
Heidi could see Carine as a main character. She’d be a blushing bride whose cheeks shone pink not because of the butterflies in her belly or the excitement of being a princess for a day. Her cheeks would blaze because of the words some troublemaker would whisper to her the moment before:“I know what you’re trying to do with that bustier, Carine. I will have that dress on the floor around your ankles. I will snatch every ribbon from it and tie your arms together so tightly that the only good you’ll be to me will be on your knees. I could have you panting and screaming before I even pulled the ties of your panties if I wanted to. You know I could. Don’t you, darling?”
“Do you ever think of yourself being the main character?” Heidi shoved the warped fairy tale aside in her brain and concentrated on working the pins into the chignon creation. She sent up a prayer that they’d hold out at least through the end of the workday. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d done someone else’s hair.
She sent a follow-up prayer asking her brain to purge imagery of wedding lingerie and freckled breasts. Hyperphantasia was a sickening curse at times.
“You mean in a wedding?” Carine snorted. “No. I actually haven’t. Is that strange?” Carefully, she pressed a hand to the back of her head and felt the bun. Apparently satisfied that the job was handled, she turned to face the wheel again and looked at Heidi from the corners of her eyes. “I’ve never really considered that before. I’ve never thought about being in a wedding of my own, but I’ve been a bridesmaid more times than I can count. Never wanted to waste what little bit of creativity I have on an expensive party that’ll only last a few hours.”
“I would have thought you’d be a belle-of-the-ball kind of bride.” Heidi was still leaning into Carine’s airspace, so she tucked that broken swath of hair in a little better and then kept her hand up against Carine’s face.
Temple, then cheek, then jaw.
Carine nuzzled against the back of Heidi’s hand like a tame cat, always seeking touch and probably without realizing that she was. “I think I’d be more the kind of bride who shows up for the wine, the little meatball hors d’oeuvre things, and the cake. I think Momma aspired to be the queen mother for a day.”
“You may change your mind.” Heidi skimmed the tip of her middle finger along Carine’s chin, then cupped it, turning her face fully toward her. “You may change your mind and decide to get yourself a dress with petticoats and ten pounds of lace.”
“Only if it’s chartreuse and has pockets.”
“I’d like to see it.”
“Propose, then,” Carine said flatly.
Heidi smiled at the joke and dragged her knuckle along the seam of Carine’s plush mouth.
Carine made a sound that was half sigh and half gasp.
Heidi returned her grip to Carine’s chin and clenched it firmly.
“I left no room for doubt that I didn’t go out with a man on Friday night,” Carine said. “Momma acted like she didn’t want to understand.”
“What’s there to understand?” Heidi pulled Carine in for a kiss because she’d been wanting to since she last saw her. Kissing was a tier of intimacy she reserved for people she needed to see again outside of the dungeons, mindfucks, and games. She knew better. She shouldn’t have allowed Carine’s tongue into her mouth, and she shouldn’t have sat there in that tight carriage tasting Carine’s moans and devouring her whimpers.
She shouldn’t have been thinking about chartreuse, unzipped dresses, freckled breasts, orWhat next?But because Carine rarely resisted or nudged Heidi back into the realm of reason where she belonged, Heidi was thinking about those things, and she’d even convinced herself she deserved them.
Carine pulled back with a gasp and immediately put the car into gear. “You gotta stop messing with me like that because I have no clue what’s happening, and I don’t like when things are indeterminate. If I wanted a confusing mess, I’d plant tomato vines. Are we dating?”
Are we?
Heidi crossed her legs and watched the side of Carine’s face as she drove. Carine’s jaw hinge was spasming.
In Heidi’s experience, that was usually a tell that a person had used whatever courage they’d had to say something. She had to be careful with those sorts. If she pushed too hard, she’d never get another honest word out of them. She needed to know what Carine was thinking.
“Or do you have me on a leash for a little bondage and finger-fucking between friends?” Carine continued. “Because I don’t know what this is, and despite what I told my mother, the lack of labeling makes me nervous, especially when you don’t call me. It’s right here, by the way.” She stopped the car again and gestured to the passenger side window. “Lot 41.”
Since she didn’t seem eager to meet Heidi’s gaze again, Heidi let her off the hook and didn’t wait for her to reestablish eye contact. Heidi looked out the window to assess the lot.
Immediately, her eyebrows tried to break free of their botulinum cages. “Christ.”
The lot was wide, deep, and wild as all get-out, but Carine had been right about the location advantages. If the construction crew could maintain the old-growth trees on either side of the ribbon-demarcated parcel, whoever lived there would be afforded incredible privacy and quiet. The disadvantage of the spot was that it wasn’t as close to the community’s center, where the pool would eventually go, or near the retail strip that was in development. Heidi wouldn’t be able to see those things from her front door. She could see plenty of nature from the back one, however.
She could even picture Nana and Fran sitting on a screened-in porch watching the birds fly home. They could chat all night, and none of the neighbors would be able to hear a word they said.
And there wouldn’t be barbells and kettlebells slamming onto cement next to the back door.
