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“Do I want to know what you told him?”
“It really wasn’t all that interesting. Sometimes, the right tone is enough. Maybe I should use it on you.”
“Why? There’s no possible way I’ve offended you as much as Myron has tonight.”
“You haven’t offended me, but you’re definitely looking for trouble.”
Just giving them something to talk about, Heidi.
“Trouble? How so?” Carine asked in her offended debutante tone. She even put a hand over her heart to punctuate her dismay.
Whether or not Heidi bought the act, she didn’t respond. She didn’t have a chance to.
Carine had made a major tactical error by not doing a full scan of the restaurant before sitting. She wouldn’t have missed Hertford’s most notorious discord agent skulking on enemy turf while wearing her yellow felt fedora and her rumor-chewing smile.
And Martha was heading right toward them.
Lord, I don’t ask you for much, but if you have even a tablespoon of favor for me, please still my tongue.
“Goodness gracious, look what the cat’s dragged in,” Martha called ahead in her usual indiscreet way. “Carine, is that still your natural color? I can hardly remember.”
Carine murmured to Heidi out of the side of her mouth, “Friend of Momma. They go way back.”
“Hmm.” Heidi retwined her fingers elegantly. The smile she wore was a familiar one Carine had seen her use in public countless times before. Still, it had taken Carine until that moment to realize it was as fake as the “gold” of her hoop earrings. It didn’t go anywhere near her eyes.
“Well, how are you, Carine? Doing well?” Looking from Heidi to Carine, Martha settled her gargantuan vinyl purse over her hip and sucked some air between her veneers. “You look like you’re doing well. Definitely look like you’ve been eating good.”
“Been eaten good, too.”
Heidi pressed her left foot atop Carine’s right one in warning, but Carine beamed at the older woman knowing full well the quip went right over her head.
The Good Lord evidently hadn’t seen fit to temper Carine’s words, which may have been for the best. She was tired of the Southern damsel playacting routine.
“You’re out late, aren’t you?” Carine’s Sunday school smile returned to her as though she’d never stopped practicing it.
“Oh, Lawrence and I went to the theater,” Martha said. “They finally got a good family movie showing on the larger screen, not one of those filthy things they’ve been playing. We said we’d make a date of it.”
“That’s what I’m doing, too. Trying to make a date. Sorry to hear about the filth.”Go away.
“Oh!” Martha patted her hands together and bounced a bit on her heels. “Where’s your date? Your momma didn’t tell me you were seeing anyone. I ought to swat her bottom for that. She’s so bad.”
Still grinning like she hadI’ll Be a Little Sunbeamon the tip of her tongue, Carine gestured to Heidi. “My date. Obviously. You know I don’t do doubles. Not after what happened the last time. Don’t you remember Cleve and them? I’m sure Momma told you. Nothing’s sacred, as you know.”
She imagined that Heidi was still wearing her equally bogus smile and staring right into the other woman’s face. Beneath the table, Heidi had found Carine’s thigh and gave it a corrective squeeze.
Carine had to close her lips over her toothy grin to hold in her gasp. She didn’t know how much of that she could take without having to excuse herself to the washroom, but she wasn’t going to back down from Martha.
She nudged the side of Heidi’s foot.
Quit it. I’m working.
Martha’s lemon-sucking face quickly gave way to an inquiring one. “Oh, I have brunch with my girlfriends all the time. Sometimes I like that better than going out with Lawrence, even if we do have to split the check four ways. It’s so crass, isn’t it? Quibbling over who ate what. So cheap. Folks shouldn’t be that way.”
“That sounds terrible, Ms. Martha.” Carine planted the side of her face atop her fist and clucked her tongue. “We don’t quibble too much about who ate what. Life’s much simpler when one person is willing to step up and take charge. Don’t you think?”
“Lord, I wish somebody would step up, or at least settle things in the parking lot where no one’s looking. It’s so tacky with them sitting there with their little calculators. Say, aren’t you Heidi Dowd?”
Myron had chosen that moment to return with Heidi’s coffee, a sugar bowl, a decanter of cream, and a wary side-eye for Ms. Martha.
