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He gently pushed the curls away from her face as he kissed her tenderly. He wasn’t any better than her selfish parents who had wounded her. But never again.
“Dash, you need to promise you won’t interfere in my participation in the school and in my information gathering if Lord Rathbourne approves.”
“You need to take time to heal before you can consider getting involved. You came close to dying. It will take time to forget.” His mind swirled and his bowels twisted into knots at the idea of Perdita fighting for her life.
“But I’ll have you to help me. I won’t be alone. And I’ll have my friends.”
“Perdita, what you ask is impossible. I could never allow you to risk yourself. I couldn’t live without you.”
“And I couldn’t live if anything happened to you. What you do puts you in danger.”
“You know that is totally unfair.” He couldn’t argue that she was only a woman when she had proven how capable and strong she was. But if he didn’t agree, she would resent him, and over time, she would be unhappy. Or worse, he could possibly lose her. She was a very stubborn woman. And he loved her and admired her too much not to want to honor her desires and wishes.
She sat up and pulled the sheet to cover herself. “What I had to consider doing to save Roddy and myself… I don’t ever want to be faced with having to kill someone. I’ve searched my conscience and, like a lifeless marriage, killing another human being would devastate me. I’m trained and capable, but I only want to use my skills to teach other women to defend themselves. Each woman will have to search their conscience and decide how they can be of service. I can’t make the decision for them, but I can help them find their way.”
“Come back to me, Perdita.” He opened his arms to embrace her as she snuggled against him, burrowing her face into his chest. “You continue to amaze me. Lord Rathbourne would never ask you to kill anyone, but you’re correct if you were out in the field, you might have to deliver a mortal blow.” He silently thanked the heavens above that, after having the experience fighting the French, she didn’t want to take on the challenge of being an operative. He never wanted her to see the dark side of humanity even if she had all the skills to make a talented spy.
“Be honest with me. Do you think we have any chance of attaining Lord Rathbourne’s approval?”
How could he disappoint her? The chances were close to nil. Rathbourne implied that he was considering it, but after Perdita’s kidnapping, he would see the inherent danger of women of rank as spies, and the value to the enemies of using them as leverage.
“Perdita, if Lord Rathbourne supports you, how could your doting devoted husband not do the same? I know you’ll never be content only in the role of a countess. And I don’t give a damn. As long as you aremycountess.”
“How could I ever be a mere countess when I’m marrying the dark lord?”
Her laughter, like the dawning light filtering through the drapes, filled him with the promise of new beginnings.
“I’m planning on soliciting Aunt Euphemia’s help in petitioning Lord Rathbourne. I still am having trouble believing she is or was a spy. Why wouldn’t she tell me if she knew about our school?”
Damn. He hadn’t considered Aunt Euphemia and her sway with her nephew when he calculated the chances of the school occurring. A future of negotiations with his demanding and sensual bride brought a wide grin to his face, and a feeling he wasn’t familiar with and barely recognized. Contentment.
“She couldn’t reveal herself. It just isn’t done—to put others’ lives at risk. And she wouldn’t want to influence your decisions. The spy life is very isolating. You have to lie to everyone you love.”
“Oh, Dash, I never thought how hard these years have been for you.” Perdita propped on one elbow to look at him, trailing her finger along his jaw. “I’ve only thought of my pain and not what you’ve suffered. I had Roddy and my friends, but you were alone. Everyone believing the worst of you.”
“I’ll never be alone again.” Dash released Perdita, jumped out of bed, and knelt. Taking her hands between his, he gazed into her eyes. “Perdita Rose Annette Tinley, will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife, the Countess of Beldon?”
Perdita rose to her knees, pressing his hands to her heart. “It would be my honor to love you for the rest of our lives, my lord.”
