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Falynn
PLAYLIST: ? CAN’T HELP FALLING IN LOVE - TOMMEE PROFITT FEATURING BROOKE [DARK] ?
Tasha enjoysour luxury stay at the Bellagio more than I do. While she finds pleasure in deluxe facials and private massages, I can only think about where I left things with Gio. She tries to take my mind off him, scheduling us more pampering treatments and dragging me down to the resort’s pool, but none of it works.
I’m too torn. My heart aches for him while my brain warns me to stand my ground and stay away. At any given moment, I waffle between running straight into Gio’s arms, promising never to leave again and booking a one-way ticket out of Vegas, refusing to ever look back.
On day three, Tasha suggests we leave the resort grounds and do something fun. I halfheartedly agree with the weak hope maybe it’ll finally stop me from thinking about Gio.
She preens in the bathroom after changing into a slouchy sweater and some leggings. I’m the opposite. I’ve skipped out on makeup and slipped on a T-shirt and sweatpants. When I appear at the bathroom doorway, she takes one glance at me in the mirror and shakes her head.
“You have a designer wardrobe, andthat’swhat you wear? We’re going shopping at the Forum! You better change into somethingsemi-nice.”
“The Forum was your idea, not mine.”
“Fal, will you give it up? I get it, girl. You’re heartbroken, barely even eating and getting out of bed. But this is also kinda my vacation for the year, sooo…” Tasha teases, plugging her flat iron into the nearest outlet. She catches my eye again and sighs at my somber face. “If you miss him, why not go back?”
I do. I do miss him. Even if I haven’t uttered the words aloud.
But I’m also worried about the future. It seems no matter what choice I make, I could be screwed. If I go back to Gio, fall deeper in love with him, what happens the next time I’m brought to my breaking point? Gio can try to protect me from the danger his lifestyle brings. He can say he’ll do better in our relationship, and I can easily see myself trusting him.
I want so badly to believe him.
Call it paranoia, maybe out of response to trauma, but my intuition warns I’ll be setting myself up again. No matter how hard he tries, there’ll always be death and danger to him and his lifestyle. I’ll always be at the mercy of his sinister world.
We’ll never have the happy ending I yearn for with him.
Our road will forever be a dark and difficult one. It’s only been a few months, and I already feel like I’m breaking. How can I handle what it means to be the Queen to his Mafia King?
“I can’t go back,” I say aloud after some thought. “I…I don’t think I can.”
Tasha quirks a brow, using a comb to divide her hair into sections. “You don’t think orknow?”
“I need to make my own money,” I answer, leaning against the doorframe. “He says he’ll always take care of me even if we’re not together, but I don’t want to rely on him anymore.”
“So, what? You’re returning to the Dollhouse?”
“I can’t—Gio owns the place. It’d be too complicated. Maybe I can find another gentleman’s club that’s hiring.”
“Are youtryingto drive that man insane? You know how he’d feel if he knew you started dancing again?”
“Knowing Gio,” I say with a dark laugh, “he’d probably show up every night and make sure any guy who even lays eyes on me is taken out back and beaten to a pulp.”
“I think exotic dancing’s off the table. Downside of dating a mafia guy.”
“In that case, I don’t have many other skills. Let’s hope I can get a job waiting tables.”
Tasha sighs, sneaking me another glance in the mirror. “You sure you’re not making things harder than they need to be?”
“What do you mean?”
“Fal, Giovanni Sorrentino doesn’t just bring any chick into his life. He doesn’t beg women to stay. Or anybody, really. But hebeggedyou. I feel like you’re not grasping how much that shit means. The man is a goner for you.”
“Not you too. I’ve already told you, I need to feel like I’m not alone in our relationship. Am I going to have to walk out every time just to get him to care?”
“I don’t know, girl. The guy’s slaughtered all of the men who’ve fucked with you. That’s a pretty intense way of showing he cares.”
“I never asked Gio tokillfor me.”
