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Falynn
PLAYLIST: ? YOUR LOVE - YUNA ?
Tasha shakesher head as I toss yet another outfit into the growing pile. I hold the latest skirt still on its hanger up against my hips and model it in front of the bathroom mirror.
“What do you think?”
“Girl, it’s Gio. You could show up in a garbage bag and the man would still be drooling all over himself. Quit playing.”
“You’re right. I’m overthinking. Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”
Tasha’s injuries have started healing over the past couple of days. The swelling’s gone down on her right eye and the split in her lip isn’t as pronounced. Yesterday for her birthday we’d spent the day relaxing by the pool and then went for dinner and drinks. She hasn’t spoken much about Kilroy since we’ve come to stay at Gio’s resort, but I can sense it’s on her mind in moments she’s left thinking for too long.
I’m still not convinced she’s done with him; she’s admitted she’s running short on cash.
“You don’t have to rush to do anything,” I say. “Gio’s already said you can stay here as long as you want. He’ll even have someone help you find an apartment.”
Tasha’s smile oozes sarcasm. “Just what every chick wants. Her best friend’s Mafia ex-husband to pay her way.”
“He’s not my ex-husband. We’re still married, and comping your stay here is a drop in the ocean for him. He owns three other casino resorts across the country. Take your pick which one you want to stay in.”
“You know how I am. I don’t like owing people. Especially when money is involved.”
“Then let Louis help. He doesn’t expect anything back. He’s a good guy and he cares about you.”
“I never said he wasn’t a good guy. Iknowhe is. That’s why I want nothing to do with him,” she interrupts. “He’s too sensitive. I don’t want to hurt his feelings. If he keeps trying to cuff me, I will.”
I don’t bother arguing with her. Tasha’s past experiences have altered her view in such a way, I’m not sure anything I can say will ever change it. I just wish she’d see life doesn’t always have to be some transaction and exchange of money. Sometimes, your feelings for someone arepriceless.
My nerves flutter in my belly as I bid her goodbye and set out for my date with Gio. After our phone call the other night, I’ve barely gotten any sleep. I stayed up for hours both nights questioning myself and combing over our recent interactions.
From the outside looking in, he seems to be in a good place. As stoic and confident as ever, he’s only grown more attractive during our time apart—his tailored suits can’t hide the sculpted muscular physique underneath, and his eyes are even more piercing and bright blue, his face framed by his neat and trimmed dark beard.
My sex drive has been pretty dead for months. A few seconds around Gio, my poor, starved cat was purring nonstop. She hasn’t been fed in way too long.
But it’s complicated. My last encounter with Gio was a dark one. He crossed the line and left me devastated. How do I reconcile that real hurt with the just as real feelings and attraction I still have for him?
It’s not something I’ve been able to process. I just know one thing.
Nothing’sgoing to happen between us. I’ve already decided we’ll be keeping it strictly PG today. But fantasies are harmless. Our suite has a detachable showerhead with pretty decent water pressure. It’ll most likely be getting some serious use the second I get back from our outing.
I shake the naughty thoughts from my head. We have so much history, so many issues that tore our relationship apart, we’ll be lucky if we can even get through the day without wanting to rip each other’s heads off.
We still haven’t talked about any of it.
The past isn’t magically going away. By the end of our time together, he’d become a man I hated and I’d become a woman desperately seeking an exit. It was to the point I began associating him as a different man altogether—Giovanni the unloving, cruel tyrant who was capable of causing me real and frightening harm, and Gio, the dominant Mafia King I’d married, but who was still passionate and loving in our solitude. Is that man still inside him? Has he really reverted into the real man I love and not his cruel imposter?
It doesn’t matter.
I still can’t give him what he wants. It’ll always be an issue I can’t bear him the heirs he needs for his legacy. He refuses to compromise on any children we have being ours by blood, and I refuse to compromise on any more depleting fertility treatments.
I’ve come back to life in the last seven months. I can’t ever let myself return to the hell I was in…
Gio’s waiting for me in the lobby. He’s been very careful in my presence, as if he doesn’t want to startle me. I suspect he didn’t come by my room for this reason. A smile brightens my face as I walk toward him.
His gaze holds mine, though I catch it slip for a brief second, flitting over me head to toe. He’s impossible to read at times, but his attraction sparks in the bright, electric blue of his eyes. Tasha was right—Gio would salivate if I showed up wearing a potato sack, let alone a garbage bag. The man isthirsty.
Suddenly, I don’t feel so guilty for my earlier X-rated thoughts.
