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“Now, don’t get me wrong.” He allowed the fragility in his smile to give way to a full-bodied beam. “Ally’s not bad to look at—”
Sarah snapped her gaze back to him, a breathy laugh soon falling from her as though she grasped his intended humor.
“But…” He moved in closer and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “We’ve talked, and she knows nothing’s going to happen between us.”
“She’s a good kid.”
“She’s a grown woman, and we both know it, but yes, deep down you know you’ve worked yourself up over nothing.”
“It’s not nothing to me.” Her husky tone betrayed that poorly hidden vulnerability again. One that reminded him of her recent heartbreak, and that he’d been too quick to get defensive.
“I know.” He kissed her again, brushing his thumbs over her temples. “I know that.”
“Either way.” She stuffed both hands into her jean pockets, shifting under his hold. “I’m acting irrationally, and that’s unfair to everyone who crosses my path, especially you. I’m sorry.”
“Sarah.” He touched his nose to hers, sinking under the sensation that he could drown in her eyes and never escape. “I simply take your irrationality as a sign of how much you must really like me.”
She laughed and slapped a hand against his chest in a playful gesture. “You better get out of here before we tip anybody off.”
But he liked that he’d been able to change her mood, so he didn’t let her go right away. Would it be so bad if someone did see them together? No. So, he reveled in the closeness for a while, despite the air of sadness wafting from her.
Maybe it would be bad if someone saw… if they know who I really am…
He stepped back, even as he acknowledged that in her presence, he was someone else.
Someone worth her affection.
Someone without a dubious past.
Someone worth being seen with in public…
For all my fakery alone, I deserve her mistrust.
The worst part? No doubt she held her own guilt over all the hiding. She blamed herself for holding back, for being the height of his current frustrations, while unknowingly being his salvation too.
But he could pretend with her. Pretend he was normal. Pretend everything was well and good, and that it was safe to have dreams and allow someone to fall for him. Pretend that it was only her issues keeping them apart…
What an asshole!
He made room for her to get to the door, signaling that he would leave too, though to the parking lot so Gordon wouldn’t see them enter Maynard’s together. Maybe this relationship should remain a secret. Maybe it didn’t deserve to continue at all. He had no place wanting more. Still, he wanted—and just once—he wished that what he wanted and what he got could be one and the same thing.
