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It was because I wasn’t attracted to him. I didn’t feel anything more than a passing friendship when I was sitting across from him, and it plain to see there was no future for us whatsoever. Knowing that was easy, trying to find a way to tell Bash was turning out to be a much harder thing to do.
I kept looking for a way to tell him that while he was a great guy, I just didn’t see us going anywhere, but he kept talking about his restaurant. I was interested, so I listened and asked questions. He was engaging when he would ask me questions or when I would talk about myself that there was never the right way to tell him.
So, instead of ending the night as soon as it started, I found myself having another drink with him. I laughed as he told me stories about his employees and how he was adjusting to living in Boston. It made me feel better when he told me how much he loved living there, and while New York would always be where he was born, it wasn’t where he wanted to live.
I thought for sure it was his way of telling me gently we weren’t going to work out. The evening for him had been as much about saying a proper goodbye to our relationship as it was for me. When I realized that, I relaxed. It was great to talk to him, to enjoy a drink or two with him and not think anything more about it. It made me hopeful that we could be friends and stay in touch. I was encouraged when he said he would be coming back to the city to get his second restaurant opened eventually and he had come into town to scope out some potential spots.
As far as I could see, he couldn’t be thinking we were anything more than two former lovers who had realized we were better off as friends. I imagined how fun it would be to catch up with him when he was in town, to maybe even get to meet his wife and kids one day. I didn’t mind when he talked extensively about how he was looking forward to when he was financially stable enough to start a family.
“You certainly sound like you’ve found your way in Boston, I’m happy for you,” I said as I finished my second drink.
“Thank you. I am. The only thing that’s missing is a good woman by my side.”
“I’m sure there are plenty of them up in Boston. Any woman would be lucky to have you. Have you had any luck?”
Bash gave me a strange look and I got a sinking feeling he did not have the same expectations for the evening as I did.
“Why would I be dating anyone else when I’m with you.”
“Bash, we ended things before you went to Boston,” I said slowly. I wasn’t sure if he hadn’t remembered or if he was in denial that it happened.
“Yeah, I know that, but I thought that was because you were busy with school and so was I with starting the restaurant. It wasn’t that we didn’t want to be together, it just wasn’t the right time,” he said.
“We had fun, Bash, we really did. You’re a great guy-”
“And you’re an incredible woman. I think we could be great together. We have a lot of the same interests, the same goals, the same drive, and we look great together.”
I smiled at him and tried to find a way to say that while we might have the same basic goals, drives, and interests it wasn’t enough for me. He wasn’t enough for me.
“Yes, we do, but-”
“See, we can make this work. Now that you’re done with school, you can come up and see me. We can see the sites, I can show you how great Boston is, and we can start looking for a place to get together.”
“Bash, that is very sweet of you to offer.”
“I’ve worked hard in my life to get where I am and now that I have, I want to have the right woman by my side and I know that you’re that woman.”
“How? Why?”
“What do you mean?
“How am I the right woman? Why am I the right woman?”
“Because we get along and have the same interests.”
“What are my interests, Bash?” I asked and leaned on the counter.
“The same as mine. You like food and going to restaurants and baseball.”
“Everyone likes going to restaurants, but I don’t think I love it in the same way you do. I do like a good meal but not with the same intensity you do. And I only went to one baseball game because you liked it. I’m more of a basketball fan,”
“Interests aren’t everything.”
I laughed. “Interests are everything or at least the foundation for a good relationship. We might have had it if we had met at a different time, but I don’t see this going any farther than it has.”
“You need to give us a chance. You need to give me a chance. We could be something great, I just know it.”
“But I don’t.”
