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I moved farther into his body, fighting back tears. I’d never been so happy and sad at the exact same time. I was grateful he was there to chase away my demons, but I was miserable that he would be gone the next day.
And we would be back to normal.
My alarm woke both of us up the following morning.
I leaned over his chest and smacked my hand down on the button, silencing the ringing sound before it had a chance to annoy me any further. Sleep was heavy in my eyes, but I actually felt rested for the first time in weeks.
Thanks to Calloway.
He opened his eyes, the same sleepy look on his face that I wore on mine. Except he looked naturally sexy, his hair messed up from the way I ran my fingers through it. His beard was even thicker, but it looked great on him. “Morning.”
“Morning.” I was so happy to see his face first thing in the morning. I had gotten to do it every single day until he broke my heart. Even after the way he hurt me, I still found him to be the most incredible man I’d ever known.
I didn’t want him to leave.
His momentary joy disappeared once he realized we were in the exact same position we were last night. We were still apart—for good. He moved to the edge of the bed then pulled his shirt over his head, hiding the prominent muscles of his back. Then he stood and pulled on his jeans, his knees and phone rattling as he pulled his pants over his long legs.
I hated watching him get dressed. I hated watching him prepare to leave.
I left the sheets that were now saturated with his smell and stood beside him, in my gray sweatpants and an old t-shirt. I didn’t bother changing because he’d already seen me this way. I didn’t look much worse than I usually did anyway.
Calloway walked out, and I followed him to the door.
Christopher was already awake, wearing slacks and a collared shirt as he ate a bowl of cereal over the sink. He was in the middle of chewing when he spotted Calloway come around the corner. He stopped eating, his eyes popping wide open.
Calloway gave him a quick nod before he walked out the front door.
I followed him even though there wasn’t much point. It’s not like we would have an amazing kiss before we went to work. We were back to exactly what we were before—old lovers. “Thanks for coming over…” I shut the door behind me so Christopher couldn’t overhear us.
“I’ll always be here for you.” He held my gaze with his arms resting by my sides, his jaw tight like he was trying to stop himself from kissing me. He slid his hands into his pockets then stepped away. “See you later.”
I couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye. I never wanted it to be goodbye. “See you later…” I watched him walk all the way down the hallway until he reached the elevator. Instead of waiting for it to rise to this floor, he turned and took the stairs.
I walked back inside, even more heartbroken than I was when we first broke up.
Christopher leaned against the counter with his arms across his chest. His half-empty bowl of cereal sat on the counter. He never wasted food, but he’d obviously made an exception this time. “Uh…what’s going on?”
He had the right to ask since this was his apartment. I wouldn’t make a fuss about it. “I had a nightmare last night. Calloway came over to make me feel better.”
“Oh…are you back together?”
I swallowed hard and couldn’t meet his look. “No.”
“Oh…” Christopher rubbed his chin and stared at the floor. “I was hoping that you two worked it out.”
We could never work it out. “Unfortunately, no.”
He rubbed his chin again, having nothing to say. “I need to get to work, but I can be a little late if you want to talk about it.” He eyed his Rolex on his wrist.
“No, that won’t be necessary.” I walked past him and headed back to my room. “I’ll be okay, Christopher. Don’t worry about me.”
“Just a few days ago, you told me you were going to buy a gun.” He turned his body toward the counter and grabbed his mug of coffee from the surface. “So, no, I’m not going to stop worrying about you.”
11
Calloway
Now that I’d spent the night with her, held her, comforted her, I was horny as hell. I missed being inside her, making love to her right before we both went to sleep. Even the vanilla stuff was incredible.
I missed her so much I almost didn’t care about my needs.
But then I was reminded that nothing had changed. I would always crave Rome, but I would always need my darker fix. Going over there the other night wasn’t a smart idea. It only set me back in terms of heartbreak. But when she called me and needed me, I didn’t hesitate.
