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I placed the bed tray to the side and pulled my knees to my chest.
“I wish I could change. But I tried once before, and it completely backfired. I don’t think I can be different…”
“That’s fine, Calloway.”
He turned to me, anger mixed with surprise. “How can you say that? After all your hesitation for the last six months?”
“Neither one of us is ever going to change,” I explained. “But we can certainly compromise with one another. Now I know I never want to do that again, at least at that intensity. But we can do other things instead.”
He shook his head with a new look in his eyes. “You’re incredible…you’re brave. If you told me you wanted to leave, I wouldn’t have had the audacity to stop you.”
“But I don’t want to leave because I love you.” Our love didn’t make sense on a logical level. Half of Calloway’s essence was exactly what I wanted in a man. He was generous, kind, and selfless. But the other half was a man I feared. “I’m glad that I came back to you and gave this another try. I was closed-minded and scared, but once I fell into the moment with you, I began to understand. I do enjoy it, Calloway. I do enjoy the way you hurt me and then fuck me afterward.”
The previous remorse slowly drained from his face, replaced by a fire of longing.
“I just can only tolerate so much. You don’t need to change, Calloway. We just need to give each other what we need. That’s all.”
He nodded in agreement. “You’re an incredible woman. I’ve always thought that, but now I think it even more.” He scooted closer to me on the bed until his thigh touched my hip. He looked at me with his beautiful blue eye and his messy hair. He was still shirtless, but now he wore sweatpants. “Thanks for not running.”
“You’re the last person I want to run away from.” I cupped his face and kissed him slowly on the mouth, feeling my heart love this man even more. I should be upset and offended by the events that had happened in his playroom, but seeing him love me and worship me so fiercely made everything worth it.
His hands wrapped around my wrists, and he kissed me harder, his tongue moving with mine. It wasn’t long before he was moaning into my mouth, enticed by the feel of my lips against his. “Can I make love to you, sweetheart?”
I ignored the discomfort still on my cheeks because my body and heart craved the man staring back at me. I wanted more of those kisses, more of those touches. My hands fell to his shoulders, and I dug my nails into his skin. “Please.”
17
Calloway
“What are you doing in here?” I walked into my office at Ruin and spotted Jackson behind the desk.
“I left some condoms in here…” He searched through the drawer and shoved pens and notepads aside. “Can’t find them anywhere.”
“You probably used them all.”
“I don’t think so…” He opened another drawer until he found the foil packets. “Ah…here we go.” He hit the drawer shut and stood up. “I’m going to get some good use out of these bad boys.” He waved them in my face as he walked past. “But have fun doing paperwork and shit.”
“I don’t have to use condoms with my woman.” I took his place in the chair. “And I already had my fun before I came over here.”
“So she’s still a good sub?” He sat in one of the armchairs facing my desk.
“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
“She can wait.” He shoved the packets into his pocket. “Things are still good?”
I wasn’t going to tell him how I’d mistreated her. It would make me look like an ass. My brother already thought the worst of me, but I didn’t want to broadcast it. “We’re happy, yeah.”
“Well, Isabella just turned in her membership yesterday, so I guess she’s long gone.”
That was the best news I’d heard all week. I leaned back in the chair and didn’t bother hiding my sigh. “That’s great news. I’m tired of her whiny bullshit.”
“She was a big attraction here for the other Doms. You would know. You were obsessed with her at one point.”
It seemed like a lifetime ago now. “That was a mistake. I never should have gotten involved with her on such a serious level. Lesson learned.”
“And yet…you’re doing the same thing with Rome.”
“Not the same thing,” I argued. “I love her.”
Jackson raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that before.”
I didn’t feel an ounce of shame. Jackson could tease me all he wanted. I didn’t give a shit.
To my surprise, he didn’t make a smartass comment. “About time you fessed up to it. It’s been written on your face all year.” He hopped out of the seat and patted the pocket where he kept his condoms. “Well, I’m off to do what I do best. Give my future sister-in-law my best.” He opened the door but didn’t walk out. He looked at me over his shoulder, his eyebrow raised.
