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I wrap the remaining leather tie around my ponytail, figuring I might be able to use it to choke someone if necessary.
I lift my head to ask them what they think and almost choke on my tongue.
“Holy fuck, you guys look hot. Do you think we’d be able to keep the costumes?”
Blink’s eyes move over my body, making my nipples pebble and my stomach flip.
“You want to do a little role-play, huh? I’m game. Here, let me put this on you.”
He steps forward with a strap that resembles a long belt.
Lifting my skirt, he fastens it around my hips, which is when I notice the little sheath for a knife.
“Wouldn’t this be better on the outside?” Not that the skirt will hinder my access.
“No, because we’re not going to put a knife in it but a gun.”
He reaches into his hoodie on the bench and pulls out a Ruger SR40c. “Law gave me this for you.”
“You know I can’t take a gun out there.”
“I know you can’t use it in a fight. But if something happens, some other twist that we didn’t account for, your number one task is to get yourself out.”
“You can fuck off if you think I’d leave you all behind.”
“You are the only one with the connections to get us help. And not just us. If things fall apart with a crowd that size, we would end up with dozens of casualties.”
I close my eyes and blow out a breath. “Please don’t ask me to do this,” I whisper.
“I have to. It’s the only way we’ll go out there with you.” He cups my jaw and swipes his thumb across a tear that slips free.
“You’re it for us, Mal. Whatever happens out there, none of it matters if you don’t survive. Don’t you get that? We can’t do this without you. And I’m not just talking about this fight. I’m talking about life and living it to its limits and beyond. I want to be wild and free and reckless with the way I love you. No restrictions, baby. But with you not here, this big old world shrinks down to a tiny single point. There is none of that ‘better to have loved and lost’ bullshit with me. I’d rather never have known the taste of your lips or the sound of your sighs or witness the impact of your smile than to have been graced with all that beauty and have it torn away.”
I sob and face plant into his chest. I let him hold me while he soothes a hand up and down my back.
After a minute, I’m shuffled around and transferred into Vega’s arms.
I look up at him and swallow when his blue eyes glisten down at me with unchecked emotion.
“We can’t save you here, and it’s killing us. We know you are more than capable of saving yourself, but taking the gun offers us a sliver of control in a situation that could spiral at a moment’s notice. You might never need it—and I pray to God that’s true—but I need you to carry it just in case.”
“Fine,” I choke out. I’m not happy about it, but I understand where they are coming from. Like Vega said, I might never need it.
Vega blows out a long breath. “Thank fuck because Law would have stripped the skin from my bones if I let you out there without it.”
I sniff and shake my head, knowing he’s not joking. It’s harder for Law because he can’t step between me and a blade when he is way up there checking out the people in the spectators’ seats. Not that I’d let the others pull that stunt, but Law is a born protector. He does not know how to stand back and let me take care of myself.
A horn blares and the crowd cheers as a five-minute warning is announced.
I step back from Blink and Vega and wipe my eyes. “Sorry, I’m good now.” I look over at Graves, who hasn’t said anything, and find him zoned out, leaning against the wall. I move to step toward him, but Vega stops me so that he can fit the gun into the sheath and make sure it’s secure enough that I can move around without it falling out.
“That feel okay?”
“Yeah, it’s fine. Thank you.”
I offer him a small smile before I walk over to Graves and stand in front of him, close enough that our toes touch. I tip my head back and wait for him to open his eyes.
I don’t ask him if he’s okay. I can see he’s struggling, but I’m not sure there is anything I can do to ease his fears right now.
