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Hot tears came. Flooding her eyes, threatening to cascade down her cheeks. She wouldn’t cry. He wasn’t worth it. Truth be told, her heart had been shrivelling all evening. She couldn’t even give the answer for the name of the Brontës’ brother even though she knew it… she kneweverythingabout the Brontës. Next to her at the table, Carts had nudged her and she’d looked at him blankly, her head full of dreadful certainty. Not quiz answers.
After Aaron had turned up the other night and she’d oh-so-eagerly pulled him against her, wrapped her legs around his thighs as he thrust deep into her against the bedroom door… afterwards, that hollow, distant look in his eyes… She realised now that it had signified the beginning of the end.
With a moan, Alice straightened, swiping at her eyes with the back of her fist, her lungs straining for air, everything hurting… every muscle, every joint. It felt like she had the flu—only worse, because people got over the flu, but she would never, ever get over this. She would live the rest of her life with a deep dark crater where her heart should be.
But she would survive. She would. Because people did. All the time.
She started to walk, stiff and slow, then heard fast footsteps gaining on her. Her feet ground to a halt, frozen to the paving stones as a hand closed around her arm. She squealed, yanked her arm up and found herself wrapped in strong arms, against a chest that felt—smelled—so familiar. Solongedfor. Soneeded.More than air. She could do without air, but not without Aaron. Her knees buckled.
“Alice. It’s me.”
No. No. No!
Arms windmilling, she wrenched out of his embrace.
“Alice, you have to hear me out. I can explain.”
“I know what I saw, Aaron.” They were a few feet apart now, both panting. His hair was an utter mess. Probably because Lauren had been running her fingers through it—which made her want to fly at him and claw his beautiful eyes right out of his beautiful stupidsoddingface. “Don’t come near me. Don’t touch me. Do you hear?”
Aaron raised his hands in a placatory gesture. “There’s nothing going on between us. You have to believe me, Al.”
“Nothing sure has a way of looking like something.”
“Al, please, can we go somewhere and talk about this?”
“Oh, yes, good idea.” Her laugh echoed around the empty street. “Let’s go back to the pub. I’ll drag up a stool next to Lauren and we’ll have a lively little discussion. Maybe about threesomes?”
“Don’t be stupid,” Aaron muttered. He started pacing, dragging fingers through his hair. “Lauren’s got herself in serious trouble at work. I was asked by Archie to remove her from it. You walked in at the wrong moment, that’s all.”
“Ha, that’s what they all say.”
“It’s not like that. She’s a complete mess.”
“Aw, how sweet! Aaron Blake—dragon-slayer, maiden-rescuer.”
He stopped pacing. “For fuck’s sake, Al, I swear there is nothing going on between me and her.” She registered the sudden tug in the centre of her heart, the desire to believe him, and then he blew it spectacularly. “You know I don’t date women I work with.”
With superhuman effort Alice swallowed her rage. Better to be as dignified as Elizabeth Bennet, as defiant as Scarlett O’Hara. To go out with an Oscar-winning performance.
She lifted her gaze to his, hardened her heart. “Regardless, I don’t want to do this anymore, Aaron.”
His jaw sagged. “Do what?
“This… us… pretending to be your girlfriend, flirting, fucking each other…” He winced.“Yes. Fucking,Aaron. I can choose to have a potty mouth when I want to. And the whole friends-with-benefits thing… well, it hasn’t really worked out, has it?”
“I thought—”
“You thought what?”
“That you were enjoying it.”
“Were you?”
“Jesus, Al, couldn’t you tell?” His arm reached out, and she arced back. If he touched her it would be over. She’d melt all over him.
She clutched her bag in front of her until her knuckles felt bruised. “Yeah, well. Maybe. But the benefits aren’t worth the costs.”
He frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
