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Silence settled, as all-enveloping as the heat.
“I don’t know.” Aaron bowed his head and stared at his feet. After a long moment he asked, “Is that how you feel about Leonie?”
Oliver’s voice lit up. “Hell, yeah.”
“How do you do it? Likemaintain?”
“Viagra, lots of Viagra.” Oliver laughed. “Joking apart, youhavemaintained with Alice. You’ve maintained an incredible friendship with her for years… To be honest, I’m amazed how long it’s taken you to realise you’re in love with her.”
Aaron’s chin retracted. He blinked. “I’m not.”
Oliver scoffed. “Okay, let’s recap. Here’s this couple, a guy and a girl who’ve enjoyed hanging out togetherfor more than five years. Who share the same quirky oddball humour and ridiculous obsession with Monopoly, who have now realised they’re unable to keep their hands off each other and when they have their first fight, one of them is so upset that he calls his much-despisedolder brother for advice?” Oliver mock-stroked his chin. “Let me see… Yep. Sounds like love to me.”
A strange prickly sensation seemed to take over Aaron’s body, and he nearly missed Oliver’s next words.
“What’s getting in the way, bro?”
“What do you mean?”
“Something’s stopping you. From embracing this.” By now the sun was beating down on their heads. Aaron was sweating. Even Oliver had a bead of perspiration on his lip.
“Why don’t we go sit in the shade?” Oliver suggested.
They moved over and sat on a bench under a large ficus tree surrounded by a small patch of grass, an oasis amidst the city glass and concrete.
Oliver leaned forward, arms resting on his knees. “Sometimes I worry you haven’t got over Mum’s death.”
Aaron stiffened. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Maybe nothing.” Another silence, both of them squinting against the sun. “Do you remember much about it?” Oliver asked finally.
Aaron shrugged. “Not really. Bits and pieces.”
Bits and pieces he chose never to remember. Waiting on the edge of the playing fields as it got dark. Being hustled into a car by a grim-faced teacher. Uniformed police in the house, talking in hushed voices. Oliver huddled against the wall in the study, their dad, their big, strong dad, sobbing.
“Just fragments, you know, about the day… the funeral…” And how much he’d hated the world afterwards, how he’d wanted to destroy everything in it. Break Dad, break Oliver… how he couldn’t focus on anything, and how it was so much better when he smoked dope because then he was mellow and fine… and—
“You numbed everything out,” Oliver said gently.
Some bearded guy he’d been dragged to by Dad when his truancy got out of control; who’d tried to get him to open up, but he wouldn’t,couldn’t. So they’d given him pills instead.
Why was there a seismic lump in his throat? Aaron swallowed past it. “Changing schools helped,” he muttered. A new school, a fresh start, slowly, slowly, feeling like he had a place in the world again.
“Things calmed down for you after that,” Oliver said. “And then Dad met Andrea.”
Aaron gave a weak laugh. “Yeah, everything kind of got sorted once Andrea came along.”
“But did you?”
“Did I what?”
“Get sorted?”
“Of course I did.”
“On the surface.”
Anger flared. “Christ, Oliver, you’re doing it again. The superior older brother crap.” Aaron jumped up and started pacing the strip of lawn. He could sense Oliver’s gaze following him.
