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“Tomorrow morning, I will take you on a ride myself,” he tells me.
My shoulders slump. Tomorrow morning he’ll be too hungover to take me anywhere. I glance at my brother, who’s eating his steak and eggs in a proper way similar to my father’s. He’ll be just as sloshed tonight, and all manners will go out the window.
“It’s my day,” I complain. “Shouldn’t I be able to spend it how I want?”
His fingers tighten painfully around my wrist, making me aware he’s finished discussing this. “If you want that mare, you will do as I say.”
My spine stiffens at the cold finality of his tone. It’s not one he uses as often with me as he does with the workers, yet it reminds me of my place here, nonetheless. Through gritted teeth, I say, “Si, Papá.”
He releases his grip on me and smiles again, but this time, it doesn’t reach his green eyes like it normally does when he looks at me. “Go get dressed. He’ll be here in half an hour. Your sister will go with you to chaperone.”
I nod and leave, angry and frustrated that on the day that I finally get what I’ve been asking for, I have to spend it with Diego.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy being with him. He’s my… Well, I’m not quite sure what he is. He’s asked me to be his girlfriend many times. He was my first everything. But there’s something missing. I suppose it’s the need to be with him. His kisses are nice, his touches sweet, but if we were never intimate again, it wouldn’t bother me. And that’s why I’d much rather spend my time in the company of a horse.
Luna.
She’s as beautiful as her name, with a wavy mane and black coat so glossy it gleams like the moon in the night sky.
A breeder from Guadalajara sold her to my father for a hefty price, though she was as wild as they come. Even to this day, she wants to be free. I can see it in her large brown eyes, that desire to run and stretch her legs. But she’s not allowed to, of course. She’s an Arabian, purebred and expected to behave a certain way.
She’s very much like me in that, because as much as she wants to run, she enjoys the comforts of the life we’ve been afforded. If we want to keep those comforts, we must follow the rules. When people are looking, at least.
A mischievous smile creeps over my lips when I peer out of my bedroom window in the direction of the stables. Sure, I’ll behave today. But tonight, when everyone else is too inebriated and thebandais playing too loudly for anyone to notice I’m missing, I’ll ride free.
* * *
“Estas son las mañanitas que cantaba el rey David…”
I glance longingly in the direction of the stables as Diego sings the traditional Mexican birthday song in my ear. It’s too far to see them from where we’re dancing slowly on the wooden floor my father had set up behind the house, but I can imagine it well enough.
“Soni, you’re eighteen now,” he says.
“Mmm,” I mumble, wondering how much longer I’ll have to wait before I can make my escape and see Luna.
“I want you to marry me.”
That finally gets my attention. I pull away enough to look into his glassy stare. “You’re drunk.”
“Maybe.” He smiles sluggishly, and his lids drop so low, I wonder if he’s fallen asleep. “But everyone knows you’ll…” He yawns. “You’ll marry me.”
“We’re not even in an official relationship,” I argue.
He shrugs. “We’ve had sex. How much more official do you want?”
“Shh!” I look around, worried that someone may have overheard him. But the few stragglers still milling around us are three sheets to the wind.
“Wha? No one can hear us, Soni. Thebandais still playing.”
“It doesn’t matter. My father would kill you if he ever found out.”
“He wouldn’t, because he knows you’re destined to be my wife.” His arms pull me to him tighter, and he rests his chin on top of my head like he always does when I’m in his arms. “Come on, Soni. Marry me.”
“I don’t know,” I say simply. “Diego, you know I love you, but I don’t think it’s in the way a wife should love a husband.”
“But we’ve had…”
“Sex. We did it out of curiosity. Can you honestly say you love me like that?”
