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I turn back to Owen when he takes my hands. He swallows hard and I can tell he’s nervous. “Cris, for the past two months, no, scratch that. Since my affair, I feel that I’ve lost you. I mean, I know you’re here physically, but your mind… I don’t know where you are. And I know I screwed up, it’s all my fault. But I thought I’d redeemed myself, that I’d won my chance with you again. Instead, I feel that since you went to New Orleans, you never came back. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. What else can I…” he stops himself then as his voice breaks and he looks away.
Even though I am at a loss for words, (Really, what can I say?) I try anyway. “Owen, I don’t know what you want me to do.” I look to Dr. Riker. “Is there something that I’m missing? I love Owen. Our sex life is great. We hardly fight. We have a great kid.”
“But you’re not here,” he says to me. “I can’t explain it; I just know there is something missing.”
“Why don’t you try? Say whatever comes to mind, even if you think it may not make sense to us,” the doctor instructs.
Owen looks down to his lap. “Cris, there is some sort of disconnect. Yeah, we have a great sex life, if all you have to go by is the physical stuff. But you never say my name when we do.”
I frown, completely unaware that I ever did.
He continues. “And when you don’t think I’m looking, I can tell you are far away. Your mind is somewhere else, always. You never text me to ask how I am, which would be fine I suppose if you never had before. It’s like, after your affair, which was supposed to save us, I lost you more.”
I take a deep breath and blink away the sudden burning in my eyes, but say nothing.
“Cris, do you love your husband?” Dr. Riker asks.
“Yes,” I say without hesitation. I do. I love him with every fiber of my being.
She smiles. “Why don’t we start at the beginning. Break the ice a little. Tell me how you met.”
That thought settles me a bit. I love our story, the way Owen and I came together. I always said that when I met the man I would marry, it needed to be different. No introduction by a friend or going on a blind date. It needed to be a lightning bolt sort of love, with lots of passion and fire. Sweet romance wasn’t going to cut it for me.
When I face Owen, I can see the gleam in his beautiful green eyes that say he’s thinking the same thing.
“I’m one of the lucky guys I guess,” he begins. “My boss was in town and I was supposed to meet with him for lunch on the other side of town, which was such a pain in the ass. I tried to change the location because I had a large deposit to make for Crawford Co. and that took me out of the way of my usual branch.
“So on my way there I get rear ended. The whole time we took care of the insurance claim, I was concerned with the amount of money I had in the truck. So, I took a detour to the branch nearest the accident, not the one nearest the restaurant as I’d intended. And as soon as I walked in, I noticed her. Instantly. Any man would have.”
As he speaks, I picture in my mind the events that took place that day sixteen years ago now. From my perspective, of course. It was magic. And I noticed him, too. Boy did I.
