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“I…”
Divina’s tongue felt as if it had swollen to twice its size within her mouth.
With any other male, any other swain, she would have bantered flirtatiously back. Teased and lured, lobbing playful sexual innuendos.
But with Andros, she was at a complete loss as to what to do.
She couldn’t bring herself to say something flippant. For she knew intuitively right from the start, and now through their interactions, however brief, that he was not that sort of male.
He wasn’t after a mutually satisfying sexual liaison just for fun. He probably didn’t even know that sex could be that way, simply a source of pleasure with no deeper emotional attachment or expectation except affection and friendship. (And in many cases, not even that, though Divina eschewed those kinds of bed sport as a general rule).
His nostrils flared as he took in her scent, as if he could taste her response in the air. She felt his chest rise and fall with each deep breath. Felt the hard, powerful beat of his heart under her palm. Smelled the deepening of his musky, clean, intoxicating scent.
Her answer mattered to him.
A lot.
She couldn’t be flippant. She couldn’t hurt him that way. But she didn’t want to tell the truth either. She barely knew herself what the truth was!
Yes! She wanted him. But not the way that he was asking. At least, she couldn’t be sure.
There was a promise in his statement and question, as simple as they were. If she answered in the affirmative, she would be promising something in return that she wasn’t ready for.
Perhaps it was something she’d never be ready for, if her past fleeting relationships were any indication.
“I like you,” she settled on replying. “I think we could make good friends.”
He raised his eyes to her face then.
Her own gaze skittered away, not wanting to meet his penetrating violet gaze.
He exhaled deeply and released her hands. Though he did not remove them from his chest, and she was too greedy to releasehim.
He was silent for a long time. At least, it felt like a long time to Divina, who was barely breathing all this while.
Finally, he inhaled a deep, bracing breath and turned away, facing forward once more.
“Hold on. I will gallop to the top of the next hill and survey the basin from there. The fort should come into view.”
Divina automatically obeyed. Leaning into his back and using this opportunity to hold him tight.
He didn’t directly address her reply. He didn’t indicate in any way how he took her answer.
Save that deep exhale and the release of her hands. The breath-held silence in between. And the long, shuddering inhale before he broke into a brisk gallop.
Her heart hurt.
It throbbed and twisted painfully in her chest. Her throat ached, convulsing as she swallowed back the sudden sting of acidic tears.
Why did she feel like she’d just broken her own heart with those harmless, vanilla words?
I like you…
Why did she feel that she’d hurt him deeply, rather than causing the temporary disappointment of a simple deflection?
She squeezed her arms around him as tightly as she dared.
What if this was the last time he let her touch him like this? Friends without benefits was what they would have to be, she was certain. Because Andros wasn’t the sort of male who could separate “benefits” from a deeper, lasting bond. Maybe even a forever bond. And she wasn’t sure she had more to offer.
