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“She is.” I don’t know what else to say, so I leave it at that.
“She’s so good for Callen, her and Sawyer both.”
“They seem really close.” She smiles as she moves around the kitchen, boiling the kettle and gathering cups.
“They are. He’s been like a father to her, and she’s his daughter, in his eyes. I think he’s still kind of hoping they might end up together.” Harlow and Sawyer? I’m not brave enough to ask, but I’m pretty sure I know the answer. “Some days, it’s probably all that keeps him going.” We’re quiet while she arranges the tray. “Are you going to ask?”
There’s a moment of silence before I say, “It’s none of my business.” I don’t want her to think I’m digging for gossip.
“Maybe not, but it really means a lot that you brought her. He’s had good days and bad days since the brain injury. She’d have been gutted to miss him asking for her, and he’d have been gutted to have missed her on a good day.”
“Any time. I can bring her around any time.” And I mean it. Anything to see Harlow so happy and comfortable.
I carry the tray in, and we sit and have tea while Callen recalls tales from Harlow and Sawyer’s younger days. She pretends to be embarrassed, but as she laughs and chats with them, I can see how over the moon she is. He’s also obviously still so in love with his wife, and by all appearances, the feeling’s mutual. It’s unusual and lovely in equal measure to be around such unapologetic, comfortable love.
It’s a few hours before we leave to head home, and Harlow is quiet on the way back.
“Are you okay?” I ask after a while, unsure if she wants an excuse to talk or not.
“Yeah. Thank y—”
“Believe me,” I chuckle. “I’ve been thanked enough today. And you’re very welcome.” She’s chewing on her lip, and I think she’s going to go quiet again.
“He got jumped,” she says. Damn. There’s always the chance that it was a car accident or something, but I was wondering, given where they live.
“By the Guards?”
“By the Seconds.” My blood runs cold, and my hands tighten around the steering wheel. Lost in the past, she doesn’t seem to notice, thankfully. “He was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and they assumed he was a Guard. He was never involved in anything like that, but something big had happened and there was a lot of violence that night. He nearly died.” It’s an effort to keep my breathing even, and I swallow harshly. “He’s paralyzed from the waist down and has trouble with his motor skills sometimes, as well as the brain injury... it caused some personality changes. Sometimes anger issues. It’s affected his mental health, and he won’t see us if he’s feeling worthless, useless. Not like the person he used to be. He was everything to all three of us when we were growing up, and he’s still adjusting to being a different form of supportive, I guess.”
“How long has it been?”
“Two years. Just after the last Games.” I knew the violence she was talking about. I knew who had ordered it, and why it was happening. My chest is tight and my vision tunnels, but I can’t let her see my reaction. I try to take quiet deep breaths and compose myself.
“Is he getting the support he can?” I’ll make sure he is. Somehow, however I can, I have to find a way to atone for this.
“Yeah, he is. It’s an ongoing struggle.” Harlow slips back into thought, and I try not to release my rage. At this moment, I hate everything I am. Everything I was brought up with, everything I try to stay away from.
As we pull up in front of her apartment, Harlow unclips her seatbelt.
“Thanks so much.” The fact that she’s thanking me—that Pearl and Callen thanked me, hosted me, after all they’ve been through—makes me nauseous.
“No worries,” I say, too crippled by emotion to say anything else.
“Do you want to come in?”
“No. I should get going.” Her brow furrows at my sharp tone, but I’m only just holding it together. I need to get out of here, and away from her, before I lose it.
“Be careful. Okay?” The look of concern in her eyes breaks my heart, but I have to go.
“I’ll be fine. Goodbye, Harlow.”
“Bye, Nico.”
I need to make that goodbye permanent before it’s too hard to let her go.
