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“Try me.”
Now, she turned a glare on me, annoyed but somehow, still resonating with pain.
“Baby…it’s…” I huffed. “So you can’t cook. We’re a team. Icancook. We’re good.”
“And take care of the farm and run your business and go to school and get freaking all A’s and help clean and…” She shook her head, her cheeks puffing out as she pressed her lips together and held in her tirade. Her tension ratcheted up several notches, going the opposite direction from my plan.
“You keep house and help with the farm stand.”
She’d always liked to tease that it wasn’t a stand at all, but more of a farmer’s market, with all the different things we offered.
“I love running the booth,” she sighed. “That was always my favorite thing.”
“Then…I guess, I don’t understand. Is it me?”
“No. You’re perfect, and you know it. I’m the one who isn’t.” She looked out the window, shoulders slumped yet still tense enough to shatter. “Trust me. I’ve heard it enough.”
“What?” I exclaimed. “Who—”
“Your mom, Judd. But I’m sure other people think it. I can’t cook, and she’s deemed me hopeless at it. She won’t let me run the stand if she can help it. She reminds me every day about not having a baby yet. Tells me I should be going to school, so I can take some burden off you.”
My teeth gritted. “I’ll talk to her. I’m sure—”
“She’s not wrong. Nothing she’s said is untrue. She’s not mean about it. Not…really.” Mimi ended the reply on a whisper and started to rip apart her sandwich.
“S’good,” she said after she’d popped a piece into her mouth, obviously changing the subject.
“Yeah,” I answered, distractedly, everything she’d revealed rolling around in my head. We ate in silence for a few minutes while I gathered my next volley. “I still don’t understand why… If I didn’t do something. Is there…someone else?”
The very thought slashed me straight to the heart. It shredded my soul. I couldn’t… I couldn’t bear that. Mimi had been mine for as long as I could remember. And maybe it was bad to think of us that way. You couldn’t own someone. She sure as heck owned me, though.
“Judd…” she whispered.
“I know I’m gone a lot and—”
“Do you really think I’d cheat on you?” she demanded, yelling.
“I don’t know what to think!” I yelled back. “I thought everything was fine, then my wife up and left me! I didn’t think that would happen, either!”
She shook her head. “I didn’tup and leave you.You just didn’t notice I’ve been fading away for a long time. I wasn’t happy. You were gone all the time. And I was aloneall the time. I had nothing to do—” She held up a hand. “Not that it’s your job to occupy me. But I didn’t have family around me. I didn’t have a job because I was supposed to be ‘helping’ at the farm.” She made air quotes. “I could only dust the house so many dang times.”
So itwassomething I’d done. Or hadn’t done, more accurately, and what I hadn’t noticed because I’d been oblivious.
“So…if I’m home more…” I ventured.
Mimi sighed. “You’re not responsible for my happiness, Judd.”
I shoved my hands through my hair, staring through the front windshield and trying to rein in my frustrated growl. “What you’re saying then is I’m in a no-win situation. Nothing I do will help. What the heck, Meems?”
“No… I…” She shook her head. “I don’t know. I don’t know how to go forward. I know I’m happy to finally be doing something useful.” She waved a hand at Jilly B’s. “It’s not my dream job or anything. But it’s something.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “You’re not really crafty.”
There was no way either of us could forget her first attempts at wreaths. Or the time she’d tried to make decorative soaps. Or any of several other artistic ventures.
“Gee, thanks.” Her rueful tone made it clear I’d amused her, not hurt her with my frank statement. A good thing since that wasn’t my intention. I just wanted my wife back, which seemed kind of impossible since neither of us seemed to know what the actual problem was. I didn’t understand this by any measure, anyhow. If Mimi did, she wasn’t sharing.
“Look, um…I know you need to get back to work. So do I. Will you come out to dinner with me tonight? We can go somewhere, talk some more and figure this out. I can pick you up at your place…”
Mimi sucked her plump bottom lip between her teeth, her brow furrowing as she looked at the remains of her lunch. “Okay. I don’t know if it will help, but yeah, we should talk.”
