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“Judd…” I murmured, my dissent evident in the way I sighed his name.
“We’ve been together so long… I’m thinking, perhaps, I haven’t been reminding you of how special you are.”
My eyes closed as I sighed quietly again. “You treat me fine.”
“Evidently not,” he grumbled.
“You’re not responsible to keep me happy. I have to find my own happy.”
“Why do you have to find it while leaving me? Do you really want a divorce? Really?” he exclaimed, an edge of impatience on the fringe of his voice—impatience I knew he wouldn’t unleash, since he had nearly supernatural control over his anger.
I stared out the window, my eyes burning with unshed tears. Of course, I didn’t want to divorce him. I loved him, but it wasn’t enough. “I’m not good for you.”
“Don’t say that! Of course, you are. You’re everything I need you to be!”
“I’m not everythingIneed to be.”
He was silent for a few long moments. “I don’t want to lose you, Meems. You’re my perfect match, the most important person in my life. I thought I was that to you, too. We need to work this out. My life feels…worthless…without you.”
Judd had always been the most significant person in my existence—since eighth grade. He still was, even now when I had no clue what to do. But I didn’t say anything.
“Would you…?” He hesitated, clearly having reservations about what he was about to say.
“Would I what?”
“I was just wondering if you’d be willing to see a counselor.”
“I’m not crazy!”
“Of course, you’re not.” Lucky for him, he didn’t sound placating when he’d replied. “That wasn’t what I was suggesting. I meant would you gowith me. To see someone who might help us work through this. I’m not sure exactly what our problem is, and you don’t seem to see a way through it, either. I just don’t want us to give up without a fight. Because Iwillfight for you, Mimi. Until I have no breath left.”
Tears burned in my eyes again, and I blinked rapidly, trying not to cry. There he went…showing me once more just how much I didn’t deserve him.
