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“Do you want me to let Mrs Bantree know that you’ve returned and to make up a couple of the rooms?”
“I think Manning’s already done that.” Rafe gestured at his horse. “Just look after our horses.”
“Yes, my lord. And welcome home.”
Rafe didn’t feel like he was home. He felt like a stranger. A lot would have changed in six years, and he had been away for too long.
Will I be able to cope with life in England again? I have no idea.
“Are you ready for this?” Charlie asked as they walked towards the side door. “You look like you really are going to the gallows.”
“I…I’m fine.” Rafe swallowed. “It’s just been a long time. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
“At least you know your father and brother will be happy to see you.”
“I just wish my mother were still alive.” Rafe looked down at his hands. They were clenched into fists. “She didn’t tell me she was sick. If I’d known….”
“You might not have returned in time. Even if you did, there wouldn’t have been anything you could have done.” Charlie clapped a hand on Rafe’s shoulder. “Focus on moving forward. You’ve been given a second chance. Take full advantage of it while you can.”
He was right. Rafe knew he should listen, but he still found himself wanting to break down again. He had been doing a lot of that lately, and it hurt his head. He didn’t think he had any more tears left.
“It’ll be fine.” Charlie squeezed his shoulder. “If you need me to, I’ll get you out of here. We’ll figure out something together.”
“I’m glad you came along, Charlie.”
“Same here. A good man doesn’t leave anyone behind, and this isn’t something you can do alone.” Charlie pulled his hand away. “Now, shall we?”
Rafe didn’t want to. He suddenly wanted to run away. But he had come all this way, and he needed to see his family.
Taking a deep breath, he stepped into the house.
***
“I’m so glad you’ve returned, Rafe,” Sebastien said as he and Rafe settled down on the terrace. “This has been a long time coming.”
Rafe didn’t answer. He simply smiled and waited for Manning to pour out the brandy before moving away to head back into the house. He was still not used to being waited on; being out in the American wilderness, a man had to look after himself. It was not something he could easily fall back into after a few hours.
At least his father and brother didn’t seem to mind that his manners were different, and he wasn’t as dignified as he had meant to be before. They were just happy to have him back. Blackmore had almost been crying when he saw his younger son walking toward him. Sebastien had simply burst into tears, clinging onto Rafe like a small child. Plenty of tears had been shed earlier.
“Well,” Sebastien picked up his glass and raised his at his brother, “to coming home.”
“To coming home,” Rafe murmured and took a sip. The brandy tasted rougher than he remembered, and he made a face. “I don’t know how you can drink this.”
“Did you not drink at all while you were away?”
“We had whisky. You acquire a taste for it when you’re in the cold and wet waiting for an animal to come by.”
Sebastien shook his head and sipped his brandy.
“I honestly don’t know why you didn’t stay in the city. You could have lived comfortably with the money Father gave you.”
“Do you really think my reputation would have remained untouched if news about what had happened reached America?”
“You didn’t do it. We all know you didn’t.”
Rafe frowned.
“That doesn’t mean anything when other people have made up their minds. Besides, being a tracker and pelt collector wasn’t that bad. It was different, but I managed.”
