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Chapter 12
The wedding was small and pretty. Victoria had to grudgingly admit to that. She wasn’t really into loud, garish events anyway, so to have a ceremony and reception where it was just her parents, Blackmore’s friend, and a couple of servants as witnesses, was something of a relief. She didn’t think she could cope with being made a spectacle of.
Having so many people watching her marry the man who killed her brother would have sent her into a panic.
But it didn’t stop the feeling of nausea in her stomach, knowing that she was now married to that man. She was the Countess of Blackmore.
A title she didn’t want at all.
The reception was meant to last a little longer than the few minutes Victoria had attended, but she couldn’t bring herself to be there. Not when Blackmore was in her back garden. She had left after being nudged by her mother to go and talk to him.
Victoria had no intention of doing that. It had been bad enough that Blackmore had to kiss her cheek once they were declared husband and wife. She felt like she needed to wash her hands after touching his. Now she had to talk to him?
But it wasn’t just that. Mowbray had looked very handsome by the altar. Even with the scowl on his face, there was no denying that he was a fine-looking man. Victoria hated that she found him attractive, and she really hated the feeling in her body whenever the mere thought of him crossed her mind. This was not meant to happen. She wasn’t meant to find him handsome or even desire him.
She should be committed to a madhouse for even thinking like this. That wasn’t right at all.
And now she was stuck with him. After the very short reception, after which her mother showed her disapproval for her running out so soon, Victoria and Blackmore had gone over to the Blackmore estate in Whitby, sitting as far away from each other as possible without falling out of the carriage.
Victoria refused to look at him. She couldn’t bring herself to do it without flying into a rage at him. That was still present, and it was barely restrained under the surface.
Is it anger at him? Or anger at yourself for how you feel? Because they seem to be intertwined.
They finally arrived at the estate, and Victoria felt her heart sinking more as she looked out to see the house looming up ahead of them. It was a fine sight, but it was further inland. The sea wasn’t at the bottom of the garden but further away in the distance. The smell of the sea was in the air, but it was faint compared to what she was used to. Not to mention that the woods where all the hunting took place was close by.
The woods where her brother was killed. Just the sound of a gun firing made Victoria flinch. She hated guns. It almost felt like she was being tortured being here.
The carriage stopped outside the house, and a footman opened the door. Blackmore got out first and turned to reach for Victoria. She pulled back before he touched her. Blackmore sighed and lowered his hand.
“You can’t blame me for trying to be a gentleman. Even to my own wife.”
“You’ll never be a gentleman.”
“You’re right about that. But at least I’m remembering my manners.”
Victoria gasped, but Blackmore was already walking away before she could give him a retort. How dare he speak to her like that? She scrambled out, almost getting caught in the skirts of her cumbersome gown and followed him into the house. Blackmore had disappeared somewhere, and Victoria looked around. Where had he gone?
Wherever he was, she didn’t care. It was mid-afternoon, and Victoria had barely had any sleep. She had no desire to do anything. All she wanted to do was lock herself into the bedchamber she had been given and get some sleep.
Her bedchamber. Oh, God. Victoria felt something clench in her belly. She had forgotten about the wedding night, the most important part of a wedding day. Where the newly married couple got into bed together for the first time.
Oh, God. That meant….
Victoria couldn’t do it. She knew it was expected of her, but she just couldn’t. Not with him.
“Lady Blackmore?”
Victoria jumped. One of the servants was standing next to her, watching her with a concerned frown.
“Are you well? You looked like you were about to faint.”
“I…I’m perfectly fine.” Victoria swallowed. “Is my maid, Abigail, here yet?”
“She’s in your bedchamber now, getting your belongings ready.”
“And Lord Blackmore?”
“I believe he went into the study. Shall I fetch him for you?”
