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Rafe had not expected Victoria to say that she wanted to be there as well. He was still trying to get over the surprise that she was downstairs and not hiding away in her bedchamber.
But knowing she would be there was somewhat calming. Rafe was stunned that he felt better knowing that Victoria was going to be present. Why would he think that? She was still under the impression that he was a murderer, even if her beliefs were starting to shift.
You just want to get her on your side so you can take her to bed and not let her leave it again.
That’s not it. I know it isn’t.
Liar.
Rafe was sure that wasn’t the case. Without a doubt, the attraction was there, and Rafe could feel it growing the longer they spent together. And he could still remember holding Victoria in his bed, albeit for a short space of time. He wanted to have her back there again.
Preferably with no clothes on.
Thinking like that wasn’t helping. Rafe couldn’t focus properly during the morning as he went to his father’s study—his study, he had to remember that now—to get on with sorting out the paperwork. While the estate was doing well, the papers were all over the place. It was going to take a while to sort them out. And Rafe didn’t have the inclination to do it. He would rather do the hard grunt work and leave the more delicate bits for everyone else.
Trying to concentrate wasn’t easy when all he could think about was his wife. Rafe gritted his teeth and pushed the thought away, only for it to come back more clearly. It got to the point that Rafe had to throw up his hands and give up. Victoria was not going to leave him alone at all, and she wasn’t even in the room.
Maybe hiding away with a book might help distract him. Or a walk. Perhaps he could go for a ride later. Now he was the Earl, Rafe could pretty much do what he wanted, so there was plenty he could get away with.
Then again, what he really wanted to do required his wife. And Rafe didn’t think Victoria would agree to that.
Sighing, Rafe pushed himself away from his desk and left the study, only to bump into Manning. The valet bounced off him with a flinch, clutching at his side.
“Ouch!”
“Manning?” Rafe then remembered the man’s ribs. He winced. “Forgive me. I didn’t see you.”
“I’ll be fine, my lord.” Manning took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’ve spoken to Lieutenant Millinchip.”
“Already? I thought you were going to do that on your afternoon off.”
“I had to head into town to get a few things for the kitchen, and I bumped into him. I told him that you needed to speak to him, so he said he would be over at two.”
“Two? That’s fine.” It was nearly that time now. He could pass the time until Millinchip arrived. Rafe hesitated. “Thank you, Manning.”
“If it will stop the nightmares, I’ll do what I can.” Manning rubbed his ribs. “It might stop you from kicking me so hard.”
“Did you talk back like this to my brother?”
“No comment.” Manning’s mouth twitched as he gave Rafe a bow. “I’ll go about my duties, my lord.”
“If you need me, I’ll be in the library.”
Rafe watched the young man walk away and caught sight of Abigail coming out of a door just up ahead, carrying some laundry. She stopped and gave Manning a smile with a twinkle in her eye that made Rafe suddenly feel envious. He wanted to have a woman look at him like that with genuine love. But he was with a woman who probably would never do that.
Then again, given the tension between them and the desire Victoria tried to fight back all the time, Rafe had a feeling that it may not stay restrained for long. If Victoria gave him any indication that she wanted him, he would be there immediately. He wanted to feel her against him again, hear her moan just for him.
If she didn’t, he was just going to keep torturing himself. That wasn’t going to be helpful, and Rafe would feel like he was stuck in a personal hell.
Maybe it was for the best that they kept themselves apart. Victoria had mentioned that Sebastien promised to let her live at their other house, in another country as far away from Rafe as she could get without going overseas. Rafe had initially refused that because her parents wanted them to have children, and he didn’t want them to be disappointed with her for running away.
But he wasn’t about to force her. That was not fair for either of them. If they never had children, Rafe would have to accept it. Even if he liked the idea of becoming a father. Seeing an image of Victoria in his head growing big with his child was quite a heady image. He would like to have that happen.
It wasn’t something he would make his wife do, though. Rafe was going to follow her lead in what she wanted. Neither of them wanted this, so they had to make the best of it.
Although Rafe was sure it was going to become tougher to keep his hands off her.
Heading through the house, Rafe went into the library. Victoria was there, browsing the shelves. She spun around as he came in. Rafe paused. For a moment, they stared at each other. Then Rafe cleared his throat.
