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Chapter 18
A week later, it was time for another gathering. Lydia didn’t realize how many parties and balls there were to attend in a season, but it seemed to her that this season was an especially popular one. But this time around, Lydia was expecting something – she knew that tonight was going to decide whether she would be with Edmund or Percy.
If Percy hadn’t got up the nerve to request to court her formally, then Lydia knew she was destined to be with Edmund. However, if Percy did make the formal request, she knew that she would be absolutely over the moon with happiness and could spend the rest of her days happily loving him.
Lydia hoped in her heart of hearts for the second option to come true, for she still was not sure about Edmund’s character. However, she knew that he had strong feelings for her and was unafraid of showing them outwardly, and so if Edmund was the only man brave enough to be with her, then so be it.
Upon arriving at the ball with Marianne and their respective chaperones, Lydia began looking around for Percy. She dragged Marianne along with her, and as soon as she did, Marianne knew what was happening.
“You don’t have to pull me so hard,” Marianne told her, “as I am happy to follow you around the ballroom. I know that you are looking for Percy, and so I intend to follow you any way you’ll have me!”
Lydia let go of her friend’s hand. She hadn’t realized how tightly she had been squeezing it, but when Lydia let go, she felt all of the blood rushing back into her hand. She knew she was nervous but hadn’t realized that she wasthatnervous.
“Sorry,” Lydia said curtly. “I’m ... distracted.”
Marianne laughed. “You think I cannot tell that? Oh, my dear ...” Marianne gave her a loving pat on the shoulder, but when her eyes fell on someone standing just behind Lydia, her heart began pounding. She thought that she could tell by Marianne’s smile who it was, and so she turned around fully expecting to see Percy standing behind her. She knew that he would proudly tell her that he would ask her parents to court her, and then they could begin the rest of their lives together as quickly as possible.
However, it was not Percy. It was Edmund, standing there with a wide grin on his face and holding two drinks in his hand. “Good evening, ladies,” he greeted them, trying to bow as best as he could without spilling the drinks. Lydia was so disappointed she could hardly think straight, but she did her best not to show it on her face.
“Good evening, Your Grace!” Marianne warmly greeted him. “How lovely to see you here. Is one of those drinks for me?”
Edmund looked horribly embarrassed until he realized that Marianne was joking. Then, an easy smile came across his face, and he offered one of the drinks to Lydia. “Would you like one?” he asked.
“What is it?” she enquired.
“Punch!” he answered happily. “But I believe it may have been …”
Lydia took the drink and downed it in one gulp in front of Marianne and Edmund. She truthfully didn’t care what was in it; all that mattered was that it had alcohol. She figured she might need a bit of liquid courage tonight.
When the drink hit her taste buds, however, she wanted to gag. It was a horrible mixture of a variety of things, none of which were pleasant. But she didn’t let on to either of the people before her that she hadn’t enjoyed it.
Edmund looked stunned, and Marianne looked impressed. “Would you like to dance with me, Edmund?” Lydia asked, boldly using his first name in public.
Now, Edmund was even more flabbergasted. “Ah ... yes, very much indeed, Lydia,” he stumbled through his response.
Lydia gave Marianne a quick wave goodbye and then disappeared into the crowd with Edmund. They found their positions in the dance just as it was about to begin, and then they looked at each other, smiled, and the dance started.
The pair were far better-matched dancers this time. It seemed something had changed in their mannerisms, and neither of them was as awkward or uncomfortable as the first time they had danced. It was reassuring to Lydia, and she hoped that their relationship would evolve in the same way.
“Well then,” Lydia began, shouting over the music to be heard and breathing heavily as she tried her best to keep up with the dance, “was there something that you wished to speak with me about?”
Edmund nodded. “There certainly was. I am not sure that this is the correct place to do it, however, as …”
“No matter,” Lydia interrupted him. “There is no better time than the present, is there?”
Edmund gave her a tight, uncomfortable smile, and Lydia’s heart sunk. She thought that he hadn’t wanted to speak to her here because he was going to propose to her right then and there. But there seemed to be something else bothering him.
“In that case,” Edmund said, missing a step as he tried to focus on what he had to say, “I should tell you that I am not all that happy. I’ve heard from many people that you have been spending a great deal of time with the Duke of Wexley. I should tell you that I have no problem with the two of you being friends, but I ... I thought ... well, I suppose I should ask you first where we stand.”
Lydia froze. Not literally, of course, as it would have thrown off the rest of the dance. But in her mind, her thoughts had turned to icicles, and her mind was now frozen shut. She felt as though she had been caught, and that Edmund was now scolding her for having spent that time with Percy, even though she and Edmund had not come to any sort of an agreement.
“Where we stand?” Lydia clarified, her voice hollow and emotionless.What a fool I am,Lydia thought.This truly was a terrible idea to have this discussion on the dance floor.
But then, Lydia thought about the mortifying experience that this conversation would have been if they had just been having it face-to-face off in a corner somewhere. At least here, Lydia could pause for dance breaks as they kept up with the quick moves.
“Yes,” Edmund said sternly. “I believe that I have made my feelings quite clear to you, Lydia. I have shown you affection; I have enjoyed our conversations, and I have even come to call upon you. If there was ever any doubt in your mind that I felt romantically attached to you ... I shall say right now that I admire you deeply and believe that you and I are destined to spend the rest of our lives together.”
This time, Lydia quite literally froze, and three women bumped into her, causing rather a big scene. However, Edmund quickly swept her out of the dance and took her over to the side of the ballroom where they could speak uninterrupted.
