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When she did this, she heard Percy’s breathing getting even faster. “Yes, please,” he moaned, and so she put her hand down again and started stroking him. He was now rock hard, and every aroused nerve ending in Lydia’s body told her that she should tear off his pants and sink him deep inside her. Even though she was letting her mind be blank and just enjoy what was happening between her and Percy for the time being, she knew this was a terrible, terrible idea. But that only made her want to do it more.
Finally, Lydia thought that she’d made a decision and so she pulled down his pants. When he was completely exposed to her, Lydia’s eyes widened as she remembered how big he was. In fact, he was so well-endowed that she worried that he might make intercourse painful for her. She moved past that, however, and was about to get on top of him and put him inside of her when Percy stopped her.
“Wait. Were you going to allow me to ... insert myself into you?” he asked.
Lydia nodded. “I’ve wanted this for so long, and I want you so badly right now,” she whispered. However, she did not make any more moves while Percy was talking.
“But Lydia,” he reminded her, “I haven’t even asked my mother or your parents to formally court you yet. I don’t think this is a good idea.”
That was all it took to shake Lydia from her blissful amorous time with Percy. The reality of the situation that she was in came crashing back down around her, and she pulled away from him quickly. Percy pulled his pants back up, and Lydia rearranged her dress.
“You still haven’t said anything to anyone about me?!” she cried, suddenly furious. “When we spoke about it the last time, you made it sound like you were going to take charge and handle that. But now you’re telling me that you still haven’t made any moves to be with me?”
Percy looked shocked. “Lydia, I never promised you that I was going to request to court you yet,” he said defensively. “I thought that we were just speaking about our relationship in general terms; how was I to know that you were expecting that?”
Lydia glared at Percy. “Because even if we didn’t say that you would make the move to court me by the next time that we were together, we’ve been partaking in enough amorous activities together that courting is the next logical step! We’ve had so many conversations about ourselves and our lives and our affection for each other too, so how could I not expect you to want to court me as quickly as you could? You said yourself that your mother would understand whoever you wanted to marry, as long as it was the person who made you the happiest in the world. Don’t speak to me as though I am the villain in this situation for wanting to be shown affection publicly;that is what is meant to happen between two people in love!”
When Lydia said the last part of her sentence, she began shouting at Percy. She was so angry and hurt that after all this time they’d shared together, he still wasn’t brave enough to want to be with her.
“Is the fact that I am not of your class really so important to you that you won’t admit your feelings for me to your parents as well as mine?” she asked him. “I had thought that by now, our feelings were mutually understood to be strong enough for each other that it was time for you to court me. And yet you have failed me again! You’ve made me feel used, Percy. We’ve kissed and touched and done so much more than that because I thought that you and I were headed in the direction of marriage. But if you’re telling me that youstillhave not made arrangements to court me, then you’re no better than Arthur Middleton! It is no wonder he took in Georgiana because you’re so much like him that when she met him, he felt like a familiar friend!”
Lydia knew that she had enraged Percy the moment those words were out of her mouth. But it was the truth. “How dare you say that,” Percy growled. “I am nothing like Arthur; I have never once promised you anything in return for what we have done together. I thought that we were moving at our own pace and that eventually …”
“Eventually, what, Percy?” Lydia demanded. “You’d forget about me and run off with some other society woman who was of a better breed than I? You’re making it sound like you were a saint for never promising to marry me when you were seducing me, but that only makes it worse and makes me feel even more foolish for having fallen for it! I cannot take this anymore; I don’t ever wish to see you again. I am marrying Edmund. He has told me he is going to propose, and I have accepted him.”
Although Percy was still furious, his face crumbled. “What? You’re ... you’re going to marry Edmund?”
“Yes,” Lydia responded firmly. “Edmund is not ashamed to be with me, unlike you. He has properly courted me and publicly asked to be with me. He shall be calling on my father this week to ask for permission to marry me, and my father will be only too happy to accept him. When he proposes to me, I shall say yes, and you will never hear from me again. Goodbye, Percy.”
Lydia turned on her heel and started walking back towards the ballroom, but Percy ran after her.
“Lydia, wait, wait!” he cried, but Lydia did not stop walking. Finally, Percy caught up with her and grabbed her arm, turning her around to face him.
“I never thought that you would go this far with Edmund,” he informed her. “I ... I’m sorry for what I said back there; I didn’t mean any of it. I’m in love with you, Lydia Seymour, and you simply cannot marry someone else.”
Lydia froze. For a moment, she did not know how to react. But then, she exploded with anger.
“You love menow?!” she screamed at him. “And you’re telling me that I cannot marry the only man who has outwardly said he wants to be with me up until this moment? You are a selfish, cowardly fool who has done wrong by me over and over and over! Why, if you love me, have you always pulled me away from the crowd and into a private room to be with me? Why haven’t you spoken with my parents about being with me if your love is so overpowering? Why have you made me feel like I am not worthy of your love?” Lydia looked at Percy expectantly, but he didn’t reply. “Answer me!”
“Because I am a coward,” Percy admitted. “I’ve wanted to be with you since the first day I laid eyes on you, Lydia. But I’ve always held back because ... because I was scared.”
“This is exactly what I’m talking about,” Lydia replied, her eyes narrowing. “You’re afraid to be with me, and so that’s why you’ve never taken charge of our relationship. And I cannot be with someone who is ashamed to be seen with me.”
“I’m not ashamed to be seen with you, that isn’t it at all,” Percy responded. “In fact, I would be proud to enter a room with you by my side. Lydia, you’re the most remarkable woman I’ve ever met. You’re smart, funny, sharp, and generously kind. I can’t imagine the rest of my life without you, so would you please just stop this nonsense with Edmund? I know that you feel the same way I do, so how can you marry a man that you do not love?”
“People do that all the time, Percy,” she informed him. “Not everyone can be with the one they love. Especially if that person has treated them with nothing but disrespect.”
With that, Lydia fled from Percy, tears streaming down her face as she ran back to the ballroom. She vowed never to see him again if she could avoid it, and as she opened the door to go back into the house, she felt the door closing on their relationship.
