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Chapter 20
The day after Percy’s world fell apart, he did not leave his room. He knew that was a very juvenile thing to do, but he didn’t care. He was going to allow himself one day to be petulant and childish about the whole situation, and then he was going to try and figure out what to do.
He spent much of his time that day poring over some of his old favourite books. He always found that when he was in distress, the best thing to do for himself was to get lost in a good book. He also found that if he read about characters who were experiencing trials similar to his and saw how they reacted to them, it inspired him to be a better person. Literature was his comfort, his inspiration, and his boon companion.
He first read some of his favourite poems from Blake’sSongs of Innocenceand a translation ofPoems, Chiefly in the Scottish Dialectby Robert Burns. Poetry was another way in which Percy buoyed his spirits as he found it to move his soul in a way that no other style of writing could. But there was still something that was missing from what Percy was reading, and so next he turned to plays.
There was a new play that had recently been published calledThe Belle’s Stratagemby Hannah Cowley. He discovered that the piece was about a young man who was engaged to be married to a young woman who he hadn’t seen since they were both very young. Although he was not repulsed by her when they met again, she was not the vivacious young woman she had been when she was younger, and he was disappointed to be marrying her.
As Percy read, he began to recall a memory that he thought he had long forgotten. He recalled a gathering when he was much younger, and at this get-together, his parents introduced him to a great many people. He couldn’t remember most of them, but as the play he was reading mentioned the two main characters meeting when they were younger, he suddenly recalled seeing Lydia that night so many years before.
When he thought of her standing there in the crowd as a young girl, his heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t believe that he had seen her before the night he’d thought they’d first met when they quite literally bumped into each other.
Do you think Lydia remembered who you were when she was re-introduced to you recently?
In the book, Letitia Hardy,the main heroine, had fallen madly in love with Doricourt, the main hero, long before Doricourt returned her feelings. Percy then wondered if Lydia had very much remembered who he was her whole life, and had already fallen for him before they re-met, as Letitia had for Doricourt in the book.
Could it be possible that she had recalled your introduction as children many times throughout her life? What if she had been just waiting to meet you because she was already madly in love with you? And now … you’ve ruined everything for both of you by not realizing your true feelings for her soon enough and being too cowardly to take the steps necessary to court her!
Percy threw the play across the room and began pacing. His plan of brooding in his room the whole day was quickly proving to be a more difficult task than he’d thought.
Perhaps I shall take a walk to rid myself of these guilty feelings. Then I shall return to my room where I can be as upset as I please, and no one can tell me otherwise.
Percy put on his outdoor jacket, sneaked out of his room, and went down the back stairs. When he’d made it outside without anyone seeing him, he breathed a sigh of relief. He was in one of those moods where he knew if anyone was to ask him how he was doing, he would just explode. While he knew it would have felt amazing to do that, he didn’t want to unleash his miserable mood onto anyone else.
He decided to take the long way around the gardens, weaving in and out of the plants as though it was a maze. When he reached the edge of the woods surrounding the estate, he decided to go through them, as they were not a very popular walking spot for anyone in his family.
However, when he reached a clearing a short distance into the woods, he stumbled upon Georgiana and Lewis sitting on a log, having an intimate conversation. His initial instinct was to come out of the bushes and disrupt their time together, but he thought better than to do that. Instead, he decided to hide himself and listen in on their conversation.
“This is not fair at all,” he heard Georgiana saying. “He’s told me my whole life to find a good man who is worthy of my love, but now that I have, he’s furious that it is you! How could I have chosen anyone better than a man who he already knows and trusts because he is his best friend?”
Percy peeked out from behind the tree covering him and saw Lewis reach out and take Georgiana’s hand.
“We just have to give it time, Georgie,” Lewis said gently, rubbing the back of her wrist. “He did not find out about our relationship in the ideal way that we’d hoped …”
“Which was his own fault,” Georgiana interrupted him.
“ … and so he’s going to need the time to come around to the idea of us. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that he’ll accept our decision to be together, and I know that his reaction yesterday was just because we caught him by surprise,” Lewis finished
Percy was touched to hear that even though he had behaved so poorly towards Lewis, he still thought the best of him.
“But why did he have to react so … violently? Even though he was taken by surprise, I would have thought that he would have been happy for the two of us. How could he not be? You’re a far better alternative to Arthur Middleton.”
Percy heard Lewis laugh at that comment. “‘A Better Alternative to Arthur Middleton’, that will be my catchphrase from now on.”
“Oh come on, Lewis, you know what I meant,” Georgiana replied, laughing at herself.
“Yes, yes,” Lewis responded, “but I think Percy may have been so upset because of what happened between him and Lydia Seymour. You heard that she’s marrying Edmund Russell, didn’t you?”
“That’s what started the whole conversation he and I had yesterday,” Georgiana informed him. “And I think you’re right; he was utterly devastated by Lydia choosing Edmund over him.”
“Can you blame him? I would go mad if I discovered you chose another man over me,” Percy heard Lewis say tenderly. “I am the luckiest fool ever to live because I have you, Georgiana Wentworth.”
Percy heard the adoration in Lewis’ voice and was pleasantly surprised. Lewis tended to be a bit of a ladies’ man, but there was something about how he was talking to Georgiana that told Percy that his friend was very serious about his love for only her.
“Oh, stop that romantic mush right this instant,” Georgiana tossed back at him lovingly.
Percy decided he’d heard enough. He still wasn’t entirely comfortable with his best friend courting his younger sister, but he knew they were right for each other. He just needed to talk to Lewis about taking things slowly, as Georgiana was still an impressionable young woman and deserved the chance to grow and mature before she was married.
