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Chapter 51
Silas had been at Thornbridge Manor for a few days. There was no one there to question his presence. The servants moved through the house quietly. Only a few remained at Thornbridge Manor all year, taking care of it while the family and the rest of the household staff were in London.
It was almost as if Silas were alone. He felt like a ghost, particularly since he moved around mostly at night, when he was unable to sleep. He could barely rest. His mind travelled in circles. There was no one to blame but himself. If he hadn’t agreed to that horrid bet, then he could have pursued Lucy, with no danger to losing her. All he’d had to do was not rise to Percy’s bait.
Silas often found himself sitting in his father’s bedchamber, which was lit only by the thin slice of sunlight coming in through the drawn curtains. Now that Silas was the viscount, the master suite should have been his own. He was seated in his father’s chair, staring at the bed. Everything here was as Josiah Sweet had left it, the day that he had gone off to London. It felt as though his father would walk in at any moment.
Silas was constantly reminded of the last time he had been there. It had been a happy time. The last place he had seen his father alive. Josiah Sweet had been thriving. He loved throwing parties and hosting many guests at Thornbridge all at once. But he had received that letter from London, which had prompted him to leave immediately.
He still wondered at that. Why had his father gone, alone? Especially at a time when he had so many guests? Silas knew that his father took his position seriously, yet he could have sent either one of his sons, in his stead.
What if I had gone, in his place? He would still be alive today. All I had to do was offer. He would have stayed at the party.
With a jolt, he recalled exactly why he’d remained at the party. Lucy. Now, it seemed, he had lost her. He glanced at the window, where he could see the sunlight coming through the thick red velvet curtains.
It was a cool, sunny day. Anyone else would be in a good mood. It was nearly time for the London Season to start. Most nobles would be starting to arrange for their removal to the city.
Silas wasn’t sure how long he would remain. Perhaps, he should skip the Season. Except… he would be expected. Needed for the House of Lords in Parliament. As viscount, it was his duty, one which he could not forgo. Not to mention, Dinah was getting married in late January. He would be needed before then, to help plan and pay for what she needed.
Although, Michael could do it just as well.
There was something that Silas needed to attend to, here in the country. Something which couldn’t be put off any longer. He stood up and then left the room, moving through the house unobserved. His footsteps echoed in the silent halls.
Silas opened the front door, hearing the sound of the butler’s steps, as he came to check on him.
“I’ll return soon,” Silas told him.
“Very good, My Lord,” he replied, bowing. “Shall I have dinner ready?”
“Please.” Silas closed the large, heavy wooden door after him. He squinted in the bright sunlight. It was several hours before dark. He had wiled most of the day away, lost in deep thought.
When he reached the bottom of the front steps, he fumbled in his breast pocket, pulling out the coordinates, scrawled in his father’s familiar, neat hand.
Father’s last treasure hunt, he told himself. He felt a combination of grief and hope. Perhaps, whatever was at the end would give him some sort of closure.
He began to walk, heading for the location. For the first time since his falling out with Lucy, he felt a small measure of hope. He didn’t know what to expect, but he ached for a positive discovery. It was to the northwest of the property, through several empty fields. He walked with a sense of purpose. Whatever he found buried there, it would be some sort of a clue. To what, though, he had no idea.
Overhead, birds wheeled through the sky in large flocks. The leaves on the trees were a bright profusion of fall colours. Silas’s breath fogged in the crisp air.
In order to get to the coordinates, he had to jump the white-painted fence that lined the entirety of the Thornbridge estate. He climbed over it, the rough wood barking his shin. He landed on both feet on the other side.
It was the middle of a wide field. At one time, it had belonged to the farmer whose property abutted Thornbridge estate. Silas and his siblings had passed this field many times while riding their ponies as children. When it had been a part of the farm, it had been filled with brown and white splotched cows. Now, though, it was empty, a sure sign that it was no longer a part of the farm.
When he reached the very point, he found that the ground had been disturbed. Someone had dug up whatever had been buried. Silas’ stomach clenched as he panicked. Maybe, they didn’t find it, he thought.
His heart thudding in his chest, he poked around, looking to see if there was anything there. He used the toe of his boot to dig in the ground. When it revealed nothing, he knelt down in the rich black dirt, using his hands to move it around. The mud stuck underneath his fingernails as he scrabbled about. Panic and dismay overwhelmed him as he came to an awful realization.
Whoever had come before Silas had taken whatever his father had hidden there. The knowledge was hard to swallow. He exhaled, his grief suddenly hitting him like a brick wall.
With a sigh, he sat back on his haunches, staring at the open ground. It reminded him of a gaping wound. He sniffled, using his sleeve to wipe at his eyes.
Silas had expected to find some sort of a memento from his father. Something which would give him cause to remember him, and to know what he’d been thinking during the final days of his life.
Silas stood up, brushing the dark dirt off of his hands. His nails had black crescent moons of earth stuck under them. This was another source of loss. He had to force himself away from it, back across the field and over the fence.
He had never been so devastated and disappointed in his life. It took every ounce of willpower that he had to leave this spot. He could only imagine his father, coming there to happily bury a gift for his children to find later. He would have been excited and pleased with himself. Whatever it was, it would have been thoughtful.
As Silas walked back to Thornbridge Manor, tears flowed freely down his cheeks. He had lost everything that mattered. His father, Lucy, and the good opinion of his brother and sister. Which meant that he was likely alone in the world. Dinah would marry. Michael would go his own way. They would leave Silas to himself. He would live a long, lonely life. Even Levi would be disappointed in him. Though, there was a small chance that his good friend would be willing to forgive him.
I just didn’t realize until I’d lost all of them how much they mattered to me.If I could do it all over, I would have done it very differently.
He knew that if he could have, then he wouldn’t have pretended to not be interested in Lucy. He would never have made that stupid bet. And he certainly would have acted much differently towards his father. He would have done his utmost to be better.
It was a lesson learned too late. He wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his jacket. He didn’t know what he would do if he returned and Lucy still wanted nothing to do with him. He didn’t know if he could go on. He had to return, however. He didn’t have a choice in the matter. He was now Lord Thornbridge. He had to figure out how to fix things. For things were broken, perhaps irrevocably. All that he could do was try, though.
If only I could figure out how to begin, he thought.
