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“Then we had best let Father Ninian bless our union while he is here. Our handfast time will be up in another few weeks, but the priest will long be gone by then. If ye would wed me in God's eyes, then let us do it and be done with it so we may get on with our lives.”
“Ye have but to name the day!” Nairn said enthusiastically
“On the morrow, love, before the mass, with all the castle folk as our witnesses,” Fiona told him boldly.
“Agreed!” he cried, his eyes overflowing with his happiness. “Then ye do love me, Fiona mine! I knew ye would one day.”
“I must love ye,” she lied to him, “or I should not wed ye properly within the sanctity of the church. Now, Nairn, I would be alone tonight. Take a bath before the ceremony, and don't come drunk to yer marriage, my lord. ‘Twould not please me at all.” She then stood up and departed the hall.
To her surprise Moire Rose came to her chambers shortly afterward. “Why are ye doing this?” she asked Fiona in a quiet voice.
“Because it is time,” Fiona said. “Ye know that sooner than later he'll get another bairn on me, andwithout a marriage the poor wee mite will be bastard-born. Did ye like bearing a bastard?”
The older woman looked directly at Fiona, her blue eyes serious. “Be warned, Fiona Hay, that if ye should ever shame him—”
“Madam, I will not shame him, nor bring shame upon Nairn. On that ye have my word. The word of the Hay of the Ben.”
Moire Rose nodded. “I believe ye,” she said, and left.
“Why?”Nelly asked her, near to weeping.
Fiona told her of the priest's words and then said, “Do ye want to go home to Brae, Nelly? It makes no difference now if he knows where I am. I will send ye back if ye truly desire it.”
Nelly shook her head. “No, my lady. My place is with ye.”
The two women embraced, and Fiona instructed her serving woman, “Go and fetch the priest to me. If my lord or his mother asks why, say I wish to speak to him about the wedding.”
When Nelly returned with Father Ninian, they crowded into the servant's little chamber, where they might speak in privacy. Nelly remained outside the door to guard them.
The priest wasted no time demanding an explanation. “Why have ye instigated this marriage, lady? Is it wise?”
“Today,” Fiona said, “part of the king's message, a part that seemed innocent to ye but that ye did not understand, although the words were straightforward enough, told me something I did not want to hear. The queen's cousin has been wed to the man I love. The true father of my bairn. There is no going back now for me, good Father. I must therefore do what is best forme and for my son. Colin MacDonald loves me, and he adores his son, Alastair.
“The king has used me like a common whore with not a thought for my heart. He claims that my sacrifice is for Scotland. Well, I will sacrifice no more. Why should I? If I canna wed the man I love, then I will wed the man who loves me, and who lovesourson. Tell James Stewart that I will spy no more for him. He thinks to make the clans quail or crawl to him by not calling a gathering at Inverness. Well, some like the Campbells may do his bidding, but the Lord of the Isles will not give the Stewart king loyalty until he is ready to do so—and the majority of the clans will wait for the MacDonalds before going on their knees before James Stewart.
“Yemay tell the king that he can frighten me no longer with threats against my kin. I no longer care. Am I not entitled to some happiness, too? Besides, what excuse could he possibly use now for persecuting innocent young women and two little girls? I have done his bidding, and I will tell the world I have done it if he presses me further. Does he think Brae will remain loyal knowing what he has done to us? Knowing thathisson bears the name MacDonald and not Gordon? I will be used no more by this Stewart king. Tell him I do not break my oath of fealty to him, but that I am a woman and can bear no more.”
The priest could hear the raw pain in Fiona's voice. There was nothing he could say that would comfort her. Her assessment of the situation was correct. She had been used. He could not blame her for washing her hands of the situation and marrying Nairn. She was a softhearted female. The king should have realized that she could take only so much. The poor lass had reached her limit, and so he would say when he saw theking in Perth this winter. Fiona was no threat to James Stewart. She was simply a woman.
“I believe ye have chosen the right road, my daughter,” he told her. “Marriage or the church is the best route for a woman to take.Yehave a fine son and the hope of other children. This difficulty between the king and the MacDonalds will eventually sort itself out. As the king gains firmer control of the rest of Scotland, Alexander MacDonald and his ilk will seem less important and will rub less against James Stewart's pride. Time is a great healer of all wounds.”
“Is it, good Father?” Fiona's voice cracked slightly. “I pray God and his Blessed Mother that ye are right.”
Then, giving her his blessing, Father Ninian left her.
“I have not gathered enough of yer special seeds, my lady,” Nelly fretted. “The summer has been wet, and the flowers are slow to bloom, and many of the flower heads have rotted before going to seed. I have barely enough for two months’ use.”
“Don't fret yerself, Nelly,” Fiona told the girl. “I owe Nairn a child, do I not?”
Poor Nelly's eyes threatened to spill over again with her misery. If the laird of Loch Brae had repudiated her, she could not have felt worse than she did. Her kindly heart ached for Fiona.
Fiona put her arms about her servant, comforting her. “Ohh, Nelly, I was a bairn to believe that it would all work out as I wanted it to despite everything that has happened. I must try to be more practical from now on, Nelly. We are hardly in a wretched situation, are we? Nairn loves me even if I don't love him. I will be a good wife to him, Nelly, for he is good to me. I owe him that much, do I not? He has been hoodwinked by the Stewart king every bit as much as I have been. I will not tell him, though. Let him believe that he has won meover.” She laughed ruefully, but then, looking at her companion, she said, “Ye, too, have a reason for remaining, do ye not, my little Nelly? Roderick Dhu would court ye in earnest, I believe.”
Nelly's tears had quickly passed with her mistress's comforting words. She actually blushed at the mention of Roderick Dhu.
“Aye,” she admitted. “The skinny creature seems to have honorable intentions toward me now, my lady. Do ye disapprove?”
“Nay,” said Fiona. “If ye love him, then ye will not want to go back to Brae. I am selfish and want ye happy, too.”
