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“I’m so cold.”
She’s still shivering. I know how to get her warm, but I don’t want to do it. It shouldn’t be me.
But I’ve already done this much, and she needs someone.
She should need Derek, but she has me.
I slip off my jeans and shirt, and crawl into bed with her. She’s already on her side, so I get behind her and pull her body toward me, letting our skin touch. I’m very glad I dried my underwear already, because her bare ass on my cock would be an absolute disaster. As it is, I angle my groin away from her so she won’t feel my hard-on. But I touch her with every other inch of my body.
She’s so hot, I quickly begin to sweat, but I ignore the discomfort. At first she’s shivering hard, but it doesn’t take long before my body heat seeps into her. She relaxes against me and her violent shivers become a few tremors. Then her back is moving in a slow rhythm, her arms and legs loose. I hold on to her, my hands around her belly, my face near her still-damp hair. I’m completely surrounded by her scent. It’s in her hair, on her skin, in her sheets. I’m floating in a sea of it, an ocean of lilac breeze.
I start to get uncomfortable, and I’m way too hot, but I don’t move. I won’t move until she needs me to. I hold her for dear life, wishing desperately for her to get better, wishing even more desperately that this moment will never end. That I’ll never have to go back to the reality of our life. The reality where we are just friends and we date other people. Where I fuck girls I don’t care about and feel like shit about it later. Where she dates guys who are too stupid to see how fucking special she is.
Our timing has always been shit, but this is worse than usual. I’m completely intoxicated by her body next to mine, but I won’t do anything about it. I can’t. She isn’t mine to have, and unless something changes, I have to find a way to live with things the way they are.
But right now, in this moment—even though she’s passed out with a fever—she is mine.
