AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You not listening to me Zane, I know what I am saying, I know the change that happened to our energy when we were close.” I raise my hand to rub it over my face in frustration, “I know that you don’t want to hear this, but I am Tal’s mate.”
“Fuck!” Zane grunts as he jumps up and starts to pace. “If you know that Tal, is you mate, then why did you leave, why didn’t you wait for him to arrive?”
“I can’t Zane,” I sigh, “I can’t be Tal’s mate.” His hands come to rest low on his hips as he stops and looks at me.
“You just said you were his mate,” he roars, “now you telling me you can’t be his mate, Fuck Violet, are you trying to drive me insane? Either you are, or you’re not.”
“Sorry, I don’t mean to confuse you.” I apologise frustratingly, “I’m not explaining myself correctly.”
“No shit!” he states angrily
“He is my mate, but I can’t be with him.” My reply has him scowling
“Why the fuck not?” he asks
“I’m just not good enough for him.” I reveal bowing my head, so he won’t see the pain in my eyes.
“I swear, you took the day to drive me crazy.” He says angrily, “do you know how rare it is for an Elemental to find his mate?”
“Yes”
“Then why the hell save him if you just going to condemn him to a painful existence?” his question has the flood gates finally bursting and the tears flooding my eyes. “And what the fuck do you mean you not good enough for him?” Zane shouts, which has me jumping in surprise.
“Don’t shout,” I whisper
He grunts throwing up his hands as he turns his back to me and walks towards the window to look out into the night. “That’s why he wanted to see you.” He says quietly as if speaking to himself
“He did?” I ask in surprise as I wouldn’t have thought that he would realize, my heart has started to race in excitement. No matter how much I want to squash the feeling it is there, the knowledge that Tal asked for me makes me happy.
“You do know that if he realizes that you are his mate, he will be here soon to get you?” at his words I feel my stomach dip. No matter how much I wish that were true, there is no way that I could be with Tal.
“He doesn’t know, that’s why I left.” My words have him turning away from the view to look at me.
“It doesn’t make sense Violet, why wouldn’t you want to be with Tal when you know he’s your mate?” I shrug at his words not wanting to make him angry again. Zane doesn’t like it when I run myself down, being my best friend and like a brother to me he tends to be protective and seeing me in a rosy light which he tries to have me buy into, but I know my shortfalls.
“Tal is a good guy; you could do much worse than him.” His words have me tensing, I don’t want him to think that I find something wrong with Tal, quite the opposite, after feeling his energy and being so entwined with him I feel that he is perfect, too perfect.
“There is nothing wrong with Tal,” I state in a voice that will brook no argument from him. I see him incline his head which knowing Zane tells me that he has just caught onto something and is thinking of the best way to proceed.
Zane is an astute, intelligent individual that has been misunderstood by his own kind, drawing close to me when he realized my weakness. I know that Zane is the type of man that would die to protect those he loves, and fortunately for me I am one of those. I know that he hates it when I talk about myself like this, but I can’t hide the truth.
“If he is such a good guy, why don’t you want to be with him?” before I can answer him, he continues, “and don’t tell me it’s because you’re not good enough because I swear Violet, I will blow a gasket.” He threatens, but I’m not scared of his threats as I know that Zane will never hurt me or even do anything to upset me.
“It’s true Zane, and soon he would figure it out and not want me.” I see the surprised look on his face, a look that changes to irritation and has him shaking his head.
“I still can’t believe you see yourself like this, with everything you do and have accomplished.” He states, “You are sabotaging your happiness, not only yours but Tal’s too.” He argues as he approaches to place his hands on my shoulders. “Don’t do this Violet, trust me when I tell you that Tal will love you just the way you are.” He knows that I have a complex about my eyes and how everyone stares at me thinking sometimes that I am blind because of how light they are.
He also knows my background and how I was always a disappointment to those that mattered the most. I always let my mother down when it most mattered, and Nathan at first thought I was perfect but then he too realized that I was flawed. No matter how much I want it, I will not let anyone else down. The only reason why Zane is still my friend is because he is stubborn and believes that I am someone that I’m not.
“Zane, just trust me on this,” I plead, “I don’t want to bond with Tal.”
Zane growls in anger, “I’ll do as you ask, but hear me when I tell you that I don’t agree with this decision.” He turns to pick up his leather jacket from behind the chair making his way to the entrance before he stops and looks back at me. “You are making a mistake,” he mutters before walking out and closing the door behind himself.
I sigh, sitting down I cover my face with my hands and let the tears run down my face. I know I’m making a mistake, but I can’t see the look of disappointment again on anyone that I love face when they look at me in disappointment.
My mom spent her life telling me what a disappointment I was because I didn’t finish school, because I didn’t marry Nathan, because I haven’t yet had kids, because I was the reason my father left, and so many more reasons. I tried, I always strived to do the best that I could to please her, but it seems like I’m always out of sync with life. Every time I tried to do something; life had a way of changing it so I would fail.
I tried to finish school but that’s when I suddenly started to see and feel other people’s energies. My mother had me committed for a period until the doctors discharged me with a case of anxiety. She never believed me when I spoke to her about what I was feeling or seeing, until I got to a stage where I didn’t share anything with her, but me being committed stopped me from graduating.
When I met Nathan, she said it was my ticket to a better life as Nathan was from old money, she was invested in me marrying Nathan, and for a while everything was going fine and I believed that finally I had found someone that cared about me, that didn’t care about my shortfalls about my failures. Unfortunately, I was wrong and one day out of the blue Nathan broke off our engagement. His reason was that we were just too different, that I would never be more then what I was, and that he had objectives in life, and I didn’t meet those objectives.
After feeling Tal’s energy, I know that I can love him, love him completely and unconditionally because he touched me in a way that I didn’t think was possible. Everything in me is crying for him, I feel every fibre in my body calling to him and I know that if I had to let myself be drawn into this mating, Tal would destroy me when he realized that he didn’t want me, that I was a disappointment to him too.
I feel a hole in my soul, a hole that should only be there if I already had a relationship with him, if going by what Zane has told me previously, mates are fully committed to each other, missing each other dreadfully when the other is not around. Zane says that if mates don’t touch or be together for long periods of time it can bring them to their own demise. He also mentioned that the whole mating process only happens when the couple first touch. I think that this pain I’m feeling of separation is because I know mentally that it could happen if I was mated, because Tal and I didn’t touch, therefore there is no way that I could be feeling separation depression.
I wish I knew what he was doing right now, I wish I was near him and could assure myself that he is the man that is meant for me, and that no matter what I would not disappoint him, but I’m not, and I can’t.
