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Deciding I’d had enough for the day, I took myself off to bed even though it was early evening. I’d have to see what I could do tomorrow.
I slept fitfully, not at all like the night before, and felt tired the following morning. I’d been awake most of the night thinking about Kwan and how he’d gone home to his family, his work and his studies, whereas I’d come home to an empty flat, no family, no bike. I was feeling sorry for myself, I knew, but there were days when everything was just too much to think about. Or if I did think about them, they made me want to stay in bed and sleep.
Today was one of those days. I slept on and off, barely leaving my room. I drank very little and ate even less. I didn’t shower and lay in my bed, a duvet covering my naked body. I didn’t even have the energy to jerk off, as much as the thought of a certain blue-haired man turned me on.
My phone rang late morning, and I let it go to voicemail. It would likely be Bernie or Megan. Ziggy mainly texted, but when the phone rang another three times, I crawled out of my bed, walking bleary-eyed into the living room to grab it. I usually plugged it in next to my bed, but yesterday, I hadn’t wanted it with me, happy to just immerse myselfin self-pity and depression.
I was surprised to see four missed calls from Kwan. What the hell did he want?
I debated calling him, but right now, I just couldn’t do it, but I could listen to the voicemail. I dialled and waited for it to connect.
“Hi, Beau. I’m sorry about yesterday. Seems I’m always apologising to you. I’m back home but would really love to see you again. Call me when you get this message.”
I muted it and threw the phone back on the kitchen counter, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. I was aware I was standing naked in my kitchen, but I didn’t care. Good job I lived alone now. Yeah, great job, Beau.
I sniffed at myself, realising I hadn’t washed. I smelled awful, but instead of showering, I went back to bed and slept again. I’d deal with it tomorrow.
Tomorrow came around, and rising at midday, I realised that not only did I have work that evening, but I had no way of getting there. I could text Ziggy, but the urge to stay at home was too much.
If I missed a shift at the club, though, Bernie would be pissed at me more than he already was after I’d turned him down the other night. That meant not only getting out of bed but showering and finding some way to get to work.
I found my phone and noticed I had a couple more missed calls from Kwan, a few texts from Ziggy and, more worryingly, two calls from Bernie last night.
Shit. I had no idea what this was about, but I had an inkling. No doubt he’d wanted me to work last night, and I’d ignored not only Kwan’s calls but his too.
This meant I’d need to go in tonight, no excuses.
Fuck my life, right now. The one time I wanted to be home, just doing what I wanted, and I had to go out to work.
I tried calling Ziggy, but it went straight to voicemail, and when I thought about it, he’d be at college. I called Marc instead.
“Beau, where’ve you been? Ziggy's been trying to get in touch. You haven’t answered his texts.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. Just had one of those days yesterday. I needed to be alone. I’m up shit creek, though. When I came home on Monday, my bike had been stolen from the lock-up downstairs. I’m pretty sure it was Megan, but I can’t prove it.”
“Okay, so what do you need?” I’m sure he’d have taken time off to bring me to work, but I couldn’t let him do that.
“The problem is, I can’t get to work tonight, and I’ve already pissed Bernie off. I told him no on Sunday, then missed two calls from him last night. No doubt he wanted me to go into work. I have to go in tonight. I can get there on the bus, but I’m stuck there without my bike. A taxi will cost me my wages for the night so…I don’t know. Have you or Ziggy got a bike I could borrow?”
“I don’t, but my brother Ryan does. I can call into Ma’s house and get it for you, drop it off. How does that sound?”
“Are you sure he wouldn’t mind? Doesn’t he need it?” I bit my lip, aware that I was putting him to trouble.
Marc snorted down the phone. “He’s got this fancy car now, hardly uses the bike, so he probably won’t even notice it’s gone. Give me half an hour, and I’ll have it with you.”
“Fuck, Marc. You’re a lifesaver.” I laughed then, realising what I’d said. Of course he was a lifesaver; he was a fucking paramedic.
“I take it you found that funny. Jesus, Beau. I’ll see you in a while.”
I debated calling Bernie but then decided I’d just turn up this evening for my shift as usual and plead innocence. I wasn’t sure what good that would do, but there was no way I was calling him beforehand.
I had just enough time to shower before Marc turned up with the bike. It no doubt cost a fortune, so I made promises to look after it and brought it into the flat. There was no way I was leaving it downstairs now.
By the time I arrived at the club later that night, Bernie was waiting for me, a sneer on his face as he looked me up and down.
“Where the fuck were you yesterday? I called you several times, Beau. I had no cover for the bar and had to work it myself. I’m not happy.”
“Sorry about that, Bernie. I wasn’t well, and my phone was on silent.”
“Not good enough, Beau, so tonight, you will make up for it.” He stepped closer, poking me in the chest. “No fucking excuses. You will do what I say, else you might just have to look for somewhere else to work.”
With that, he went back to his office.
I couldn’t do it, not tonight nor any other night. I’d rather live on the streets than give myself to that prick again. I’d have to think of something before my shift was up. Just what that would be, I didn’t know, but I had to try.
