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KWAN
Icould have driven home. It was only just after 2 a.m., so I’d have been back home by two thirty at this time of the morning. I don’t know what made me ask any more than I knew why I needed to come here tonight. I just thought that maybe I could help him, keep him at least some way happy after what had happened.
He led the way to his room, and it was like the rest of the flat, immaculate but sparsely decorated. His room had a double bed pushed against one wall, a small bedside table with a lamp and an old digital alarm clock. The carpet was worn in places, and the wardrobe had a knob missing from the door.
We weren’t exactly rolling in money, but this was someone who was at least trying to do as well as he could with what he had. I felt even worse now about Beau having lost his job. It was clear he didn’t have much in the way of money.
“Quit, gawking, Kwan. I’m tired and just want to go to sleep. Do you want to take the wall or the other side?”
“I don’t mind. I’ll fit in wherever.” I stood and watched with interest as he undressed down to his bright orange underwear. He had his back to me, so he couldn’t see me checking him out.
“Are you just going to stand and watch me, or are you going to undress too?” I could hear laughter in his voice, so I didn’t feel so bad.
“Er, yes, of course.” I removed my shirt and unbuttoned my trousers, stripping to my black boxer briefs. I wasn’t going to strip naked—that would have been just wrong—but I did make sure to remove my socks. Nothing worse than wearing those to bed.
Beau did the same and climbed into the bed, scooting over to the wall, leaving me to lie on the edge. It was a small bed, not quite a double, and at a touch under six feet tall, my feet were almost hanging out the bottom.
“Turn the light off, Kwan.” I flicked the switch and lay on my back, staring up at the water-stained ceiling, my mind refusing to settle. There were no curtains up at the window, but it didn’t matter. We weren’t overlooked, but the orange street lights cast an eerie glow, headlights flickering on the walls.
It was quiet, though, and I could hear Beau’s breathing. He wasn’t sleeping. His breaths were too uneven for that. I asked regardless, though.
“Are you sleeping?”
“Yes, are you?”
“No. I can’t sleep.”
“Me either.” I heard the rustle of the duvet and felt Beau’s breath on my neck as he turned onto his side. “What do you want to know? I can hear your mind working from here.”
I shrugged even though he probably couldn’t see it. “Just stuff, I suppose. I don’t know anything about you other than your first name, yet here I am lying in your bed, half naked. Feels a little weird if I’m honest.”
“It does a little.” His voice was so close to my ear it startled me. “But tell me a little about you first.”
It was a stalling tactic, I reckoned, remembering his words about family, but maybe if I told him about mine, he might give me something.
“Okay. You know I’m Kwanchai. My mother is Korean, my father is from Thailand, so my full name is… Now don’t laugh at this, I was a walking joke at school. You ready for this?” I felt him nod next to me. “Kwanchai Boon-Nam. It means ‘born to good fortune’. I’m hoping it’s true.”
“Yeah, that would be nice, wouldn’t it? I could really do with some good fortune right now. Tell me more, though.”
“I’m the oldest son, and I told you all about my family on our impromptu date, but I don’t think I mentioned my nephews. Twins aged two. I love them to death, but they give Hana grief. They know how to play her. Maybe you’d like to meet them some time?”
“I’m not good with kids, but we’ll see. Is this for date number four? Is this number two now?”
“I’ve no idea. Feels like it should be number two. What about you?” I asked. “Tell me something about you.”
“I don’t like to talk about my family.”
“So tell me something else. What do you like to do? Hobbies?”
He was so quiet for a moment I thought he’d gone to sleep, but when he spoke, I had to strain to hear him even though he was so close.
“Beau Pierce, and I have a younger sister called Megan, although at this point, I don’t know where she is. We’re orphans, because of me.”
Well, I wasn’t expecting that, and I honestly didn’t know what to say to him. He spoke again, though, so I didn’t have to.
“I want to tell you I’m over it, but I don’t think I ever will be. Megan got hurt because of me, and I came out of the accident unharmed, just a few scratches. As for where she is right now? She’s on drugs, probably fucking her way around Liverpool for her pimp. We argued a week or so ago, and she’s not been back home since.”
I lifted my arm, and he moved closer, snuggling into my side. I had no words of condolence to offer him, but I hoped this would help.
