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KWAN
“We have this gig lined up,” I told him as I drove him home. “A big one that could see us getting more exposure and, get this, maybe a record deal. How fucking amazing is that?”
I couldn’t believe Alan had come through and not only had he secured that elusive gig, but he’d been in touch with a couple of independent record companies wanting demo tapes. Saul was good. He had got us some great live shows at various clubs but nothing like this. I should give him his due, though. He’d done the initial legwork allowing Alan ultimately to take the credit.
But this could be huge for us. Not catapulting us to stardom but hopefully give us enough money to help things along at least, pay for my university fees.
Realising I was rambling, I turned quickly to see what Beau was doing. I couldn’t see his full face, but he was looking out of the window, his finger tapping his thigh.
I touched his knee. “Hey, are you okay? I’m sorry, I'm just so stoked about this, and I need to tell the guys if they don’t know already.”
He turned to look at me, and while he didn’t look disinterested, he didn’t seem overly enthralled either. Was this boring to him? I suppose with his current predicament,having no job, it might seem a little insensitive of me to go on about it.
“I know, I get it, and from what I heard, you deserve it all. You didn’t have to bring me home, though. I could have got the train or the bus.”
“But then I wouldn’t have got to spend more time with you and I wanted to. When you called this morning, I couldn’t wait to see you again. Look, let me just call the guys and then we can spend the rest of the day together. Please, Beau?”
“Okay, but only if you’re sure. I know this means a lot to you.”
It did, but he was beginning to mean a lot to me too.
We spent the rest of the journey in silence, just the music from the radio, and I realised that something had shifted. As new as this was, the news I’d received had shaken him, and I didn’t know why. He knew what I did, knew this was my dream, so I was at a loss as to what he was feeling but meeting him had caused a shift in me too, and I didn’t know how to process that right now.
A sudden downpour started as we pulled up outside his flat. He opened the car door and sprinted for the building. I didn’t know what to do. Did I follow him? Did I just drive away? There was no protocol for this, and the way he’d bolted before I’d even stopped the car made me think that something wasn’t quite right.
Fuck!
I threw open the door and, after locking the car, chased after him, holding my coat over my head. As I looked up, he was there holding the door open for me, and we dashed upstairs to his flat, falling through the door in a drenched mess.
“We need to get out of these wet clothes,” he said, stripping off down to his underwear. I failed to see a downside and quickly followed suit until I, too, was down to my bright red boxer briefs.
Who moved first, I don’t know, but our mouths met in a fit of teeth, lips and tongues. I couldn’t get enough of him, lustful thoughts running through my head.
I had never had this reaction to anyone, ever. I didn’t know what it was about him that drew me in, that tempted every part of me, but he was intoxicating and addictive.
I gripped his arse, bringing him closer to me, while his hands ran through my hair. I was beginning to think he had a fixation.
“Take me to bed, Kwan, please. I need to feel, need to feel wanted,” he whispered into my ear. I could do that. All day and every day if he wanted me to.
We broke apart, and he took my hand, leading me to the now familiar bedroom where we fell onto the bed, wrapping our arms around each other. Our lips found each other again. Neither one of us seemed able to stop what was happening between us.
Beau rolled us so he was on top, caging my head with his arms, leaning down to kiss me, time after time. I ran my hands up and down his back, dipping into the crease of his arse, feeling him tense beneath me.
“More, Kwan. Give me more.” He moaned and thrust into me, telling me without words just how much he wanted this. I slipped a little lower, circling his hole with my finger. No lube would make it uncomfortable, but he pushed against my finger, encouraging me. I didn’t want to hurt him and moved it away to a frustrated growl from him.
“Just do it. I don’t care about the burn.” I looked at the grimace on his face. I couldn’t do that to him. I wasn’t like that. If it would cause him discomfort, I just wouldn’t.
“No, Beau. I won’t hurt you.”
“What if I want you to? What if it’s all I deserve?”
“No, Beau. You don’t deserve it.”
I wasn’t sure what was happening here, but as he climbed off me to sit on the side of the bed, I had to ask why he was doing this. Why did he feel the need to punish himself?
“What’s going on, Beau? Why do you think you deserve to be hurt?” I reached for him, but he moved away, standing and walking to the window.
“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” He crossed his arms, effectively cutting off all communication, but I wasn’t going to let this go.
