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“Don’t be up too late talking. I hear you late into the night. You both need your sleep, my boy.”
“I know.” I grabbed a drink from the fridge and kissed her on the cheek. “Don’t wake me too early tomorrow. I have no classes, and I want to lie in.”
She nodded, and I made my way upstairs, closing and locking the door behind me. I didn’t need anyone walking into my room, especially if I was on the phone to Beau. It invariably turned into phone sex, and I did not need my mother seeing that. Bad enough that she’d said she could hear me. I just hoped I’d kept it quiet.
Tonight though, Beau was as tired as I was, so after a short conversation, we said goodnight, promising to speak again tomorrow. This was one thing we hadn’t fallen down on, our decision to talk everyday regardless of how early or late it was, even if it was just a message saying good morning or good evening.
As much as I’d wanted to see him tomorrow, he was working the lunchtime shift. Our days just weren’t lining up, which was why this weekend was so important to us both.
I struggled through the next two days, managing to catch up on some sleep. I slogged away at rehearsals and university until finally, it was Saturday and my weekend with Beau.
I didn’t have the car, so I caught the train, getting into Lime Street station around lunchtime. Beau had said he’d be waiting for me, but I couldn’t see him. Where was he? I was about to call when a hug from behind had me stumbling forward. I turned quickly to be greeted by a kiss. I threw my arms around his neck. God, I’d missed this and missed him.
“Fucking queers get everywhere these days.” I broke away from him, looking around to see who’d made the comment, but there were so many people milling around, going about their business, it was hard to see who it could have been.
“Come on,” I said, taking his hand. “Let’s start our day off right without having to listen to homophobic arseholes. I’ve got a restaurant booked, and I thought we could do some window shopping. I hiked my backpack up on my back and started to walk towards the nearest shopping centre.
“I’m still okay to stay over, though, right?” I asked, praying he’d say yes.
“Yep, I’ve been looking forward to this all week. It’s been a while. Phone sex helps, but you can’t beat the real thing.”
“Shall we just skip it all and go back to the flat? Not sure I want to wait for later. I can always change the time of the restaurant.”
“No, you’ve planned the day, so let’s stick to it. The anticipation will be more than worth it.” Beau gave me a cheeky grin, and I’d admit I was tempted again to drag him down the nearest alleyway and kiss the life out of him, but I stopped myself. I was going to do it right today.
We wandered around for the rest of the day, grabbing a coffee at a local coffee shop, which reminded me of our first date.
“So, how many dates is this now? I’ve lost count.” I popped a piece of cookie in his mouth, watching as he chewed it and took a sip of my coffee.
“I lost count too, six? Seven? However many it’s been… Actually I don’t want to say anything more. I don't want to scare you away.”
I took his hand, squeezing it gently. “You can say what you want, Beau. I’m sure whatever it is won’t scare me away.” I was at a loss to think what was so bad that he thought it’d have me running.
He looked indecisive but appeared to come to a decision. “However many it’s been, it’s not enough. I don’t want this to end, Kwan. Yes, we’ve not been together that long, a month at most, and most of that time, we’ve not been together much, but I’ve been thinking, if we can, I’d like to see you more.”
I didn’t know what to say to him. I was struggling as it was, and I didn’t want to make him promises I really couldn’t keep.
“I don’t want it to end, and I really do want to see you more, believe me. Things are just a bit busy at the moment with the band, uni and the restaurant. I don’t want to tell you I can see you set days and then have to break the date.”
“Sorry, I’m being needy.” He sat back in his chair, his arms crossed in front of him.
“No, you’re not. Not at all.” I reached for his hand and held it in mine. “We have a couple of gigs lined up over the next few weeks, which is why we’re rehearsing so hard now, but when they’re done, I’ll have more time. Time to spend with you, I promise. I’m just asking for a few weeks. Weeks where I am going to be busy, Beau. I won’t lie to you.”
“Ok, I can deal with that, just a couple more weeks,” he said, pouting.
“Yes, a couple more weeks, now come on. I don’t want to ruin today thinking about what might not even happen.”
He didn’t look so sure but at least tried for a small smile.
“Don’t worry, Beau. It’s going to be fine.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince him or myself at this point.
He was subdued for the next half an hour or so, not saying much, meandering along, browsing the shop windows. I didn’t know what to say to him to make things right but felt that all the balls I was trying to juggle were about to come crashing down.
