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BEAU
Icould tell he didn’t want to do what I asked, but I needed to feel him inside me, to make me feel it for a day at least. I’d been worrying about our relationship. For a while, it seemed to be going so well, but lately, he’d been missing my calls, not replying to my messages until much later, and I’d not seen him for so long it made me wonder what he was up to when he wasn’t with me.
My stupid fucking insecure mind was playing games with me. I knew it wasn’t like that. I knew he had a lot on, that he was trying to do everything to keep people happy. I just didn’t feel like he was doing everything to keep me happy, as if I was last on his list.
I couldn’t complain about the sex. It was always amazing when we were together, and today was no exception. We both came hard, shouting out, glad no one was home and finally laying side by side, breathless from our fucking, and that’s exactly what it had been today. No romance, no sweet kisses, just a good hard pounding that relieved us both.
We managed to make love once more before early evening gave way to late night, and I needed to get home. The last train was at 11.30, and if I missed that, it’d be early morning before I could get another. I felt more at peace about our relationship. His gentle touch and soft words had eased my troubled mind a little at least, sending the tendrils of doubt scurrying back into the darkness where they belonged. For how long, I didn’t know, but for now, my mind was peaceful.
As the train rattled into the station, I sent him a message letting him know I was close to home and I’d speak to him tomorrow. His usual reply, a red shining heart was all I needed to know he was thinking about me. I slept better that night and woke the next morning ready to take on the world.
I had work, though, a lunchtime shift, and I arrived with ten minutes to spare, surprised when Simon asked me to join him in his office.
“Beau, sit, please. I just wanted to catch up with you before you started your shift.” He motioned to the chair, and I sat, not entirely sure what he wanted. He’d never called me in here before other than when I first came for my interview, and to say I was nervous, well, that was putting it mildly. Thoughts of Whispers and my time in Bernie’s office had my palms sweating, a trickle of sweat running down my spine.
“No need for nerves,” Simon said, seemingly sensing my discomfort. “I just wanted to tell you how well I think you’re doing. Josh has been singing your praises. I wouldn’t usually do this, not until you’ve been here a few months, but I want to offer you a raise and maybe that promotion we’d talked about. You’ve fit in so well here, so what do you think?” He walked around the desk, sitting on the edge, one leg on the floor, the other dangling free. He had his hands clasped in his lap, and I noticed a new shiny wedding band that hadn’t been there before. It made me feel a little safer and more at ease.
“Well, yes. I mean, that’d be amazing.” More money would be great, and with the rent increase, I really needed to earn a little more. It was going to be a stretch with the salary I was on, not leaving much wiggle room if anything were to go wrong.
“Just one more thing, though, and, well, this might be a little personal, and please forgive me if this isn’t anything you’d be interested in. It’s just I’ve seen how you interact with the customers…the men especially. I like you, Beau. I’ve always thought you’re a great asset to the team.” He paused, staring at me, a strange look on his face, and those nerves I was feeling earlier were back.
“How would you like to earn a little more money, off the books?” I didn’t like the sound of this. It was like Bernie all over again, but this time, he wanted to pay me for it.
“Me and my husband, we recently got married, a lovely affair in Vegas. Not an Elvis in sight.” He laughed, and I just stared at him, taken aback by his brazen words. “We’re looking for a third to join us for a little fun now and again. I think Charles would be very taken with you. You’re just his type. Blond, beautiful, a trim body.” He reached his hand forward towards my face, and I stood quickly, the chair falling to the floor.
No fucking way. I was not going down that route again. I’d learnt my lesson the hard way last time.
“I have a boyfriend.” He started to speak, but I stopped him. “I’m flattered but really not interested.” I looked at my watch. It was time to start my shift.
“I have to get out there. My shift is about to start.”
He looked perturbed, annoyed even, but this was a hard no for me.
“Fine, go ahead. I’ll sort out your raise, though. Don’t worry about that.” His voice was terse, and he moved from the desk, fiddling with some papers.
“Thanks, I’d appreciate that.” I didn’t think for one moment I’d get that now, but I breathed a sigh of relief as I left his office, quickly putting on my apron, ready to start.
* * *
The next few days passed without incident. I was still on a high from my time with Kwan, but I could feel myself slowly falling. As much as we tried to stay in touch, things were just becoming harder. The band needed him, and he’d explained that he needed to go down South for a handful of gigs Alan had set up for them. He’d be gone for about a week, which was fine. We’d gone longer without seeing each other, but I had a feeling something was changing. No concrete proof, just an incessant niggle that wouldn’t go away.
“I’ll be back before you know it, Beau, and we can go to the beach again,” Kwan said one night on the phone. “I know you love it there, I can see the attraction, and we can go to Sandy’s again. Sit outside if it’s nice weather. I won’t be gone forever, Beau.”
“I know, and I’ll hold you to lunch at Sandy’s. You owe me ice cream, I’m sure.” We talked a little longer until one of us started yawning. I think it was me. It was late, and I had work again the following evening.
I did nothing all day, but when I arrived at work, Josh was acting strange. He wouldn’t meet my eyes, and my attempt at conversation was cut short. A stilted hello was all I got out of him.
“Simon wanted to see you as soon as you got in,” Anna said as I approached the bar. “He’s out back.”
Maybe this was something to do with the raise he’d promised me, but somehow, I didn’t think it was the case. My fears were confirmed as I knocked and walked into the office, a stern-looking Simon sitting behind his desk.
“Take a seat, please, Beau.” Seemed the niceties had flown out of the window, and dread sank like a stone in my stomach. I knew where this was going. I just didn’t want to hear it.
“I didn’t want to have to do this, but it seems that money has been going missing,” he said accusingly.
“I haven’t taken it,” I told him, but he refused to look at me, reading from a piece of paper on his desk.
“Money has been disappearing every shift you’ve been on. I know it’s not Josh. He’s been with me for years, and—” I wasn’t going to let him finish.
